Started my new job last week. I had forgotten just how physically taxing grooming can be. Wiggly dogs, happy dogs, lazy dogs, ticklish dogs, and worst...biting dogs. I work in a "no-restraint" facility, so I am having to learn to groom a new way. It's a great job though. If a dog is too hard, we don't complete the groom for the safety of the dog and the groomer. There is a full time bathing staff, so I never have to bathe a dog, either. I just cut the hair, and trim the nails. The best part is the flexibility. I must be at work at 7, but I can leave whenever all my dogs are finished. Usually, that's between 12 and 2 and never past 3. My job is less than 5 minutes from the house - WEEEHOOO!!
School starts again today. Multivariate Stats using SPSS and Testing, Assessments, and Measurements - this term. Not so excited about the stats...really glad to be taking the testing session. Last semester was a 4.0 hoping for another one this semester.
Don't think I mentioned that Amy won her custody battle. For the next 45 days - the temporary order has been reversed, and Amy has Gage full time and Royce gets weekend visitation. After the 45 days expires, they go for the final hearing and Amy is awarded domiciliary custody, and child support, and Royce will have standard - non-domiciliary - custody visitation and privileges. Gage lives here full-time, now. He's a joy and a job. Very conversive...very repetitive. It's been a long row to hoe for her...I am glad she's getting what she wanted. Gage needs her and she definitely needs him.
Aside from the constant din of voices, crying, banging, animal chasing, and question after question...things are smooth sailing.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
1:00 a.m. texting
Well, I discussed - in my last blog - the friend of Eve's whose alcoholism has made any relationship with him less than tolerable. Finally, Eve is willing to let him go...
This person, who peed on my 1000 dollar mattress, and passed out naked in the guestroom floor left our home on Friday evening seemingly content and ready to get back to his own apartment...We know he's a person who stews over conversations, but WOW...Really?? When he left on Friday, he offered to come back on Sunday to allow Eve to use his truck one more time since my tire wouldn't be in until Monday afternoon and there was a lot of driving to be done on Monday...Amy had her final court appearance for custody...I started my new job...Eve had to go to work - get off early to pick me up so me and the kids could get to Galveston for court...all on a donut. So....We told Eve's friend we would call him on Sunday if we wanted or needed to borrow the truck again. We were just relieved to see him leaving our house!
He calls on Sunday morning and I told him that it just wouldn't work out to use his truck because it only seats two people and three had to get to court...he seemed taken aback by that and later he calls while we are all watching a movie so we don't answer the phone...then, Eve calls him back when the movie is over....OMG...He comes to our house to get his motorcycle, and any of his belongings that have been stored here because he's gotten a storage building for his stuff. GOOD! Come to find out, he is offended that WE don't understand that he is HAPPY just the way he is and instead of telling him that we cannot stand him for even one more night...we're willing to put our family in jeopardy by riding on a donut.
Eve goes with him to the storage building...instead of him loading his bike in his truck and making ONE trip...he's too afraid to use his ramp and tie downs so Eve must go with him and he must bring her back home. So...we thought they had opportunity to work out their friendship on the ride home. This person cannot and will not accept responsibility for his actions...there's always an excuse, which he calls 'reasons' for his inappropriate behaviors. The peeing in the bed is new and cannot be related to his drunkeness...his ADHD cannot be controlled by traditional means of medication...he must take his meds his way..not the doctor's way AND he must drink in order for it to work. He can drive 140 on his motorcyle, but he is careful so no one would be hurt by him...WOW...what a piece of work.
Anyway....he and Eve talked, but he spent the rest of the day stewing about the fact that we cannot allow his drinking in OUR house...what he does at his own home is his business and we have no problem getting together with him there (we can leave if we want). We want him to be happy, but not at our expense. So...apparently, he stewed about that until 1:00 am and started texting us. He went on an on about how he will never meet our standards and how we should want him to be happy and how we should be as happy as him....Eve called him and he had the nerve to be OFFENDED that we were angry about the texts...he didn't realize it would wake up the entire house...he didn't know the ringer was that loud...he was pouring out his heart to us and we had the nerve to be angry with him. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
Anyway...he started calling the house phone, next. I talked - rather tried to talk - but he was too drunk to understand anything. The final words were that if we couldn't handle getting a heartfelt text message at one in the morning then we shouldn't be friends...my response, "okay"...click...
Wish it hadn't ended like that, but then again, can't imagine it ending any other way. Eve was so angry with him she didn't sleep the rest of the night. I know it really hurt her.
Oh well....work is good, money is great. Things are getting back on track. School is progressing nicely and I am getting excited about actually working in my field soon. Love to all...til next time
This person, who peed on my 1000 dollar mattress, and passed out naked in the guestroom floor left our home on Friday evening seemingly content and ready to get back to his own apartment...We know he's a person who stews over conversations, but WOW...Really?? When he left on Friday, he offered to come back on Sunday to allow Eve to use his truck one more time since my tire wouldn't be in until Monday afternoon and there was a lot of driving to be done on Monday...Amy had her final court appearance for custody...I started my new job...Eve had to go to work - get off early to pick me up so me and the kids could get to Galveston for court...all on a donut. So....We told Eve's friend we would call him on Sunday if we wanted or needed to borrow the truck again. We were just relieved to see him leaving our house!
He calls on Sunday morning and I told him that it just wouldn't work out to use his truck because it only seats two people and three had to get to court...he seemed taken aback by that and later he calls while we are all watching a movie so we don't answer the phone...then, Eve calls him back when the movie is over....OMG...He comes to our house to get his motorcycle, and any of his belongings that have been stored here because he's gotten a storage building for his stuff. GOOD! Come to find out, he is offended that WE don't understand that he is HAPPY just the way he is and instead of telling him that we cannot stand him for even one more night...we're willing to put our family in jeopardy by riding on a donut.
Eve goes with him to the storage building...instead of him loading his bike in his truck and making ONE trip...he's too afraid to use his ramp and tie downs so Eve must go with him and he must bring her back home. So...we thought they had opportunity to work out their friendship on the ride home. This person cannot and will not accept responsibility for his actions...there's always an excuse, which he calls 'reasons' for his inappropriate behaviors. The peeing in the bed is new and cannot be related to his drunkeness...his ADHD cannot be controlled by traditional means of medication...he must take his meds his way..not the doctor's way AND he must drink in order for it to work. He can drive 140 on his motorcyle, but he is careful so no one would be hurt by him...WOW...what a piece of work.
Anyway....he and Eve talked, but he spent the rest of the day stewing about the fact that we cannot allow his drinking in OUR house...what he does at his own home is his business and we have no problem getting together with him there (we can leave if we want). We want him to be happy, but not at our expense. So...apparently, he stewed about that until 1:00 am and started texting us. He went on an on about how he will never meet our standards and how we should want him to be happy and how we should be as happy as him....Eve called him and he had the nerve to be OFFENDED that we were angry about the texts...he didn't realize it would wake up the entire house...he didn't know the ringer was that loud...he was pouring out his heart to us and we had the nerve to be angry with him. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
Anyway...he started calling the house phone, next. I talked - rather tried to talk - but he was too drunk to understand anything. The final words were that if we couldn't handle getting a heartfelt text message at one in the morning then we shouldn't be friends...my response, "okay"...click...
Wish it hadn't ended like that, but then again, can't imagine it ending any other way. Eve was so angry with him she didn't sleep the rest of the night. I know it really hurt her.
Oh well....work is good, money is great. Things are getting back on track. School is progressing nicely and I am getting excited about actually working in my field soon. Love to all...til next time
Friday, July 16, 2010
Finally, a Breather
Hello to all my friends...I haven't written in a while as classes and personal obligations kept me from my musings. Well, kept me from my written musings, at least. Finally,
I have an 8 day break from classes. Wow, I really thought it was more like two weeks - I go back for the second summer session on July 23. It's been a really difficult semester with a total of 73 papers completed in 10 weeks. That's a lot of research and constant writing! Next semester is more technical, so I think there'll be less writing.
My world has been full of housekeeping duties in addition to classes. Not the bucket of pinesol and a capful of bleach cleaning...the kind that mandates a shrug of the shoulders and a deep, heavy, sigh. How do you say goodbye to people who have been a part of your life for a very long time? How do you reconcile the distance between you and them that time and the pursuit of dreams have created? There's no good way. You either stay mired in the muck of the stress the relationship causes or you move forward thankful for opportunity to have had them in your life at all. I move forward - hoping only good things and happiness for them. I have always believed people can only do to you what you allow them to do...I do not allow them to wreak havoc or undue stress in my life anymore.
Eve and I have a friend whose alcoholism has become more than I can bear. He is Eve's dear friend, although I don't really understand why. He and I have nothing in common and every time we see him, he wants a psychotherapist - not a friend. He has been kind to us...helped us when we really needed it, and loaned us his vehicle until my new tires come in (we're on a donut right now). He has been staying here because he's afraid to park his motorcycle at his apartment and that's what he's been using for transportation while Eve uses the truck. Each night when he gets in from work; before a hello, how was your day, or any other pleasantry...it's a beer and a shot of crown. He gets completely inebriated by 9pm. The night before last he got up in the middle of the night after wetting the bed and then passed out naked in the middle of the bedroom floor. Enough is enough. It angers me because of Eve's unwillingness to sever the friendship - or at least lay down the groundrules, I am forced to be an enabler. He's leaving this evening, and I have asked Eve to not allow him to return for overnight visits anymore. She is willing to do that, at least.
So...finally a breather. A new job on Monday, no school for a week, a clean house, and a clean mind. Whew...
I have an 8 day break from classes. Wow, I really thought it was more like two weeks - I go back for the second summer session on July 23. It's been a really difficult semester with a total of 73 papers completed in 10 weeks. That's a lot of research and constant writing! Next semester is more technical, so I think there'll be less writing.
My world has been full of housekeeping duties in addition to classes. Not the bucket of pinesol and a capful of bleach cleaning...the kind that mandates a shrug of the shoulders and a deep, heavy, sigh. How do you say goodbye to people who have been a part of your life for a very long time? How do you reconcile the distance between you and them that time and the pursuit of dreams have created? There's no good way. You either stay mired in the muck of the stress the relationship causes or you move forward thankful for opportunity to have had them in your life at all. I move forward - hoping only good things and happiness for them. I have always believed people can only do to you what you allow them to do...I do not allow them to wreak havoc or undue stress in my life anymore.
Eve and I have a friend whose alcoholism has become more than I can bear. He is Eve's dear friend, although I don't really understand why. He and I have nothing in common and every time we see him, he wants a psychotherapist - not a friend. He has been kind to us...helped us when we really needed it, and loaned us his vehicle until my new tires come in (we're on a donut right now). He has been staying here because he's afraid to park his motorcycle at his apartment and that's what he's been using for transportation while Eve uses the truck. Each night when he gets in from work; before a hello, how was your day, or any other pleasantry...it's a beer and a shot of crown. He gets completely inebriated by 9pm. The night before last he got up in the middle of the night after wetting the bed and then passed out naked in the middle of the bedroom floor. Enough is enough. It angers me because of Eve's unwillingness to sever the friendship - or at least lay down the groundrules, I am forced to be an enabler. He's leaving this evening, and I have asked Eve to not allow him to return for overnight visits anymore. She is willing to do that, at least.
So...finally a breather. A new job on Monday, no school for a week, a clean house, and a clean mind. Whew...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Getting over it
Well, finally the house is clear of out of state guests and I can get back to my normal routine around here. It's not that my guests were so bad, they were quiet; didn't demand my presence or require me to entertain them all the time; they didn't eat me out of house and home (other than they were 3 extra mouths-two of whom were growing, adolescent boys); and finally, they did not destroy my antique furniture or put holes in the blow-up mattress. Still, I am so glad to have the house back to its permanent residents.
Everyone would have laughed til they cried had they seen Eve and me with stupid, silly grins the moment the car was emptied and it was just the two of us heading back to our home. Ear to ear, teeth gleaming in the sunlight, huge, unable to stop grins. We wanted to do the happy dance, shout from the rooftops, and call everyone we know with the joyous news! How shallow of us.
Things feel so differently, now. It's more quiet, more relaxed, less stressful, and for me, most importantly - less odors. When there's 8 people pooping in your house there seems to be a constant wafting of offensiveness in the hallway...boys who cannot hit the bowl make for a bad service station restroom - the only thing I didn't have was the key with the office chair chained to it. No matter how often Amy cleaned the bathroom (it is her's and Chris' bathroom while their here)she just couldn't get the smell out. WEEEHOOO, she did it!
We love these people, but if anyone ever needed proof that "guests are like fish...after three days they start to stink" this is it. It will be a very long time (if ever again) that we allow people to come stay with us for an extended period. We made it through without hating them in the end - and that's a good thing. It's taken a full two days just to get over the experience.
So...my friends and family...we have learned a lot about what we will accept from people and just how mature we have gotten over the years. We have practiced tact, hospitality, and graciousness and are much better for it.
Everyone would have laughed til they cried had they seen Eve and me with stupid, silly grins the moment the car was emptied and it was just the two of us heading back to our home. Ear to ear, teeth gleaming in the sunlight, huge, unable to stop grins. We wanted to do the happy dance, shout from the rooftops, and call everyone we know with the joyous news! How shallow of us.
Things feel so differently, now. It's more quiet, more relaxed, less stressful, and for me, most importantly - less odors. When there's 8 people pooping in your house there seems to be a constant wafting of offensiveness in the hallway...boys who cannot hit the bowl make for a bad service station restroom - the only thing I didn't have was the key with the office chair chained to it. No matter how often Amy cleaned the bathroom (it is her's and Chris' bathroom while their here)she just couldn't get the smell out. WEEEHOOO, she did it!
We love these people, but if anyone ever needed proof that "guests are like fish...after three days they start to stink" this is it. It will be a very long time (if ever again) that we allow people to come stay with us for an extended period. We made it through without hating them in the end - and that's a good thing. It's taken a full two days just to get over the experience.
So...my friends and family...we have learned a lot about what we will accept from people and just how mature we have gotten over the years. We have practiced tact, hospitality, and graciousness and are much better for it.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A Cathartic approach
Today is housekeeping day and that makes me happy. I get out the bucket, the bleach, the Pine-Sol and all the other cleaning accouterments that make my life seem manageable. Ahhh, sweet joy.
I am so glad Eve understands me. She gets it when I am crabby because I have stepped over the last misplaced item, or moved the coaster to its rightful position for the very last time. She is quick to pick up stuff that she didn't haphazardly throw down. I am fortunate to have the perfect partner.
It's interesting that Chris is so much like me. Father's Day was spent at the water park and he was able to get through the day without his kids pretty easily. We got home and there was a call from the boys on the answering machine. We were all surprised by that. Well, Monday Chris' card arrived with a hand written letter from Dylan. Dylan is the one who is very quick to say that he doesn't like his Dad and doesn't ever want to come visit. The letter said he missed his Dad, loved his Dad, and wanted his Dad to be proud of him for passing the second grade. Chris LOST it. He cried off and on for several hours. Instead of just wallowing, though. Chris went outside and detailed both mine and Eve's car to perfection.
Cleaning is cathartic. It's a mundane task that requires attention and allows you to think deeply about the world, but provides enough distraction to get through the strong emotions of the day. I love to clean!!!!
I am so glad Eve understands me. She gets it when I am crabby because I have stepped over the last misplaced item, or moved the coaster to its rightful position for the very last time. She is quick to pick up stuff that she didn't haphazardly throw down. I am fortunate to have the perfect partner.
It's interesting that Chris is so much like me. Father's Day was spent at the water park and he was able to get through the day without his kids pretty easily. We got home and there was a call from the boys on the answering machine. We were all surprised by that. Well, Monday Chris' card arrived with a hand written letter from Dylan. Dylan is the one who is very quick to say that he doesn't like his Dad and doesn't ever want to come visit. The letter said he missed his Dad, loved his Dad, and wanted his Dad to be proud of him for passing the second grade. Chris LOST it. He cried off and on for several hours. Instead of just wallowing, though. Chris went outside and detailed both mine and Eve's car to perfection.
Cleaning is cathartic. It's a mundane task that requires attention and allows you to think deeply about the world, but provides enough distraction to get through the strong emotions of the day. I love to clean!!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
How much longer????
Today is exactly one month since our guests got to the house. Can you believe that!! Because of finances, they will be staying until July 10...a full two weeks longer than I had anticipated, and truth be told, 3.5 weeks longer than I had originally agreed.
I really don't understand how anyone can think it is okay to descend upon people for such a length of time. They are completely dependent upon us for transportation, food, housing and entertainment. That's not to say they don't make monetary contribution in the form of gasoline and some food, but shoot...my electric bill, water bill, and gas bill will most assuredly be through the roof next month.
Then there's the stress of other people in the house who don't care for it, clean it, or love it the way Eve and I do. My God...how many times do I have to say, "DON'T PUT ANYTHING ON THE ANTIQUE DRESSER, ESPECIALLY THINGS WHICH HAVE LIQUID IN THEM!!!!!!"
Anyway, it'll all be over soon and there's no way in heck Eve and I will ever absent-mindedly agree to allow anyone to come stay for extended periods again.
I really don't understand how anyone can think it is okay to descend upon people for such a length of time. They are completely dependent upon us for transportation, food, housing and entertainment. That's not to say they don't make monetary contribution in the form of gasoline and some food, but shoot...my electric bill, water bill, and gas bill will most assuredly be through the roof next month.
Then there's the stress of other people in the house who don't care for it, clean it, or love it the way Eve and I do. My God...how many times do I have to say, "DON'T PUT ANYTHING ON THE ANTIQUE DRESSER, ESPECIALLY THINGS WHICH HAVE LIQUID IN THEM!!!!!!"
Anyway, it'll all be over soon and there's no way in heck Eve and I will ever absent-mindedly agree to allow anyone to come stay for extended periods again.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Fast Track
Graduate school on the fast track is really difficult. I have always prided myself on my ability to efficiently organize my time, but this work is so consuming that the rest of my world seems to suffer the consequences of my absence. I am thrilled to be so close to the end of my academic journey, but sometimes I cannot see how I will get it all done and be knowledgeable about my field. Just insecurities - I really do have an awesome grasp of what I have learned (I did manage to graduate with honors and still have a 3.89 GPA).
Yesterday, I managed to find some time to attend to my friend, Rhonda. She got a mini make-over. We colored her hair, highlighted it, and cut it into a playful, medium length do...it was fun (well, maybe the part where we waxed her eyebrows wasn't so fun for her). Rhonda looks fabulous!! She's a strawberry blonde, so we went a shade darker to honey brown with golden blonde highlights around her face and on the crown of her head. We stacked the back and brought the front to a nice frame around her oval face. Took several years off her appearance. There's pictures posted on my facebook page.
Lately, so many people I care about are having monetary difficulties. I worry for them and for us. Eve and I are, literally, half a paycheck from homelessness. It's a struggle every moment of every day. We worry about the bills coming in and the money going out. We manage though. In the evenings, we sit outside and discuss how we can make sure to keep our heads above water until I finish school. We cut expenses anywhere we can, we don't purchase anything that isn't an absolute necessity, we don't go out, we don't generate any new bills. It's tough, but we know it'll change and we'll be better for the journey. Our financial minds have matured over the last six years, our relationship has become stronger because we have been forced to deal with ugly matters, and our lives are rich and full even without two pennies to rub together.
Sometimes, we get angry with the others in our lives who complain about money troubles, but then buy season passes to SplashTown, or eat out 5-7 times a week, or go on lengthy vacations, or use their credit cards for wants and beg their creditors for extra time to pay for their needs. Everyone is different - I know that - some people have to hit the bottom before they appreciate the climb or remember the struggle.
Guess, I have gone on long enough. Back to studying and writing.
Yesterday, I managed to find some time to attend to my friend, Rhonda. She got a mini make-over. We colored her hair, highlighted it, and cut it into a playful, medium length do...it was fun (well, maybe the part where we waxed her eyebrows wasn't so fun for her). Rhonda looks fabulous!! She's a strawberry blonde, so we went a shade darker to honey brown with golden blonde highlights around her face and on the crown of her head. We stacked the back and brought the front to a nice frame around her oval face. Took several years off her appearance. There's pictures posted on my facebook page.
Lately, so many people I care about are having monetary difficulties. I worry for them and for us. Eve and I are, literally, half a paycheck from homelessness. It's a struggle every moment of every day. We worry about the bills coming in and the money going out. We manage though. In the evenings, we sit outside and discuss how we can make sure to keep our heads above water until I finish school. We cut expenses anywhere we can, we don't purchase anything that isn't an absolute necessity, we don't go out, we don't generate any new bills. It's tough, but we know it'll change and we'll be better for the journey. Our financial minds have matured over the last six years, our relationship has become stronger because we have been forced to deal with ugly matters, and our lives are rich and full even without two pennies to rub together.
Sometimes, we get angry with the others in our lives who complain about money troubles, but then buy season passes to SplashTown, or eat out 5-7 times a week, or go on lengthy vacations, or use their credit cards for wants and beg their creditors for extra time to pay for their needs. Everyone is different - I know that - some people have to hit the bottom before they appreciate the climb or remember the struggle.
Guess, I have gone on long enough. Back to studying and writing.
