So..I said I would keep you posted in the Thanksgiving festivities around our home.
First, Christopher still hasn't spoken one word to me. In addition, He and/or Amy tried to pull a fast one with their one remaining line of cell phone service. Eve and I would have missed it if they hadn't screwed themselves in the process. Apparently one of them logged into Tmobile using the administrator account (probably Eve's since I changed my password the day of the trouble a month ago) and changed the administrator permission for Amy's phone number. Then, they changed the minutes allowed to unlimited (which is an additional fee of 20.00 per month). When this was done, Tmobile offered a limit on FREE minutes to 1000. They chose the option (Didn't really understand what they were doing). So....On Friday evening, Amy's phone stopped allowing phone calls. She texted and begged me to turn the phone back on; unsuspend Chris' line; or give her more minutes. Eve and I checked her minute usage and she still had 123 left (they are only allowed 500 minutes per month). To make this long story short...while at the theater on Sunday, Amy sent another text asking me to PLEASE turn her phone back on...I had had enough and called Tmobile to find out why Amy's phone wasn't working. That's when we find out about what they did and how they shot themselves in the foot. Because they chose the option to limit FREE calls to 1000, all the weekend calls are free, and her phone wouldn't permit calls once she reached that amount of minutes. I think it's hilarious!!!!! So, I let them know that I found out what they did...fixed the problem with Tmobile and will suffer no additional costs...and told Amy that she has until January 1 to get her own phone...we're turning off the phone that date with no exceptions. So...we won't be seeing the kids for Thanksgiving.
I sent the letter my Dad asked me to send to my Mother in regard to her accusations of theft. First...the letter did not reach her. I sent it to the wrong address (7402 instead of 7502). Of course, anyone who knows my paperwork demon understands that this kind of thing is to be expected in my life. Since the letter didn't arrive as it should have...Dad had a moment of suspicion and believed I had not sent the letter - and worse...maybe was guilty of what I was accused. Next, I corrected the address and re-mailed the letter. Mom did receive it because I sent it registered mail. Mom tells Dad she is NOT coming to Thanksgiving at the ranch. My brother calls Joyce (Dad's office manager and personal assistant) and tells her that he and Lauren will not be attending Thanksgiving because Mom will not be there. (I knew this was going to happen). Dad was beside himself with grief...he had built up some unrealistic family reconciliation. Finally, I received a response to my letter, yesterday. In a nutshell...Mom does not believe my innocence, claims that I paid for the cruise tickets in 2008 with money stolen from my Dad (because there was a problem with mine and Dad's credit cards around that time and she told me to give back the cruise tickets[which weren't purchased through dad's card] and I refused). OMG!!!! Oh My God!!!!
So, Dad, Tim, Eve, and I have decided that we are going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving with no mention of THOSE people. Enough is Enough!!!!! I have decided that a relationship with my Mother is not all that wonderful. I spent 15 years with not one word from her. During that time, I idealized what our relationship used to be like and how nice it would be to have that again...I am perfectly content to go back to missing her, and remember only the good times. I don't like how she makes me feel. I like me, and many people like me. I refuse to allow her to make me think there's good reason they shouldn't.
I intent to love my brother from a healthy distance...This isn't the first time he has said something horrible about me to ingratiate himself into Mom's life again. They are perfect suited to one another. I don't wish to participate.
I am fortunate to have my Dad and will cherish whatever time there is left for us. He genuinely loves me and even likes me. I feel the same about him.
As for my REAL family...their last name is Tate, Scott, Mann, Spaniel, Wilcox, Sutton, Sheffer, and any other I have forgotten. These are the people who love me unconditionally and treat me like an interesting person and not a person of interest. I love you all, those of you who read this, and those who may hear it from the grapevine. I am grateful, thankful, and so honored to be part of this family!!!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
A little time..I hear it has healing properties.
So...a week has gone by since Chris' temper tantrum. There is still no word from him, or even about him. I am okay, though. It is amazing that even the anger has dissipated. I am just over it, and waiting for the reconciliation.
Speaking of reconciliations...on Tuesday (when the pain of my son's actions are still fresh), my Dad calls to let me in on why my mother decided to stop speaking to me last year. WOW...first and foremost...WOW. Well, apparently my mother was given information about me that she is believing as, "God's truth". This information could have only come from my brother and it is in regard to activities at Texas MEP where I, Eve, and my brother worked in 2008-2010. So, here's the newest list of things I have done....
I stole "$2500.00 or more" from Texas MEP...I stole $1600.00" from my Dad, and I have stolen some undisclosed sum of money from my mother. WELL SHIT...first...I didn't steal anything from anyone, second...If I had stolen $2500.00 or more wouldn't I have been arrested? If I had stolen that much money from my father...does anyone think he would be speaking to me (We all know that he stops speaking over bad grades), and if I had stolen money from my mother...why on earth would she refuse to disclose an amount?
If the problem with Chris wasn't enough...this added fuel to my fires of regret and guilt. Always the scapegoat, always the reason my family is miserable, and forever paying for the sins of my past. At least that's how I felt for about 10 minutes. Then I remembered...I paid my debt, I strive to be the best person I can be...I have made amends. Finally, I am worth loving, I am strong, victorious, brave, and most of all...I deserve to be treated like a person and not like a suspect.
To appease my father, I sent my mother a letter with my letters of recommendation from a company I supposedly stole from, enclosed. However, Thanksgiving will be interesting, and I hope it doesn't turn into a fiasco I should have simply avoided. Eve and I laugh about it, and say that we should just make the day trip to Bossier and spend the day with people we love, and who love us without condition or exception.
Will keep you posted on how Turkey Day turns out....If nothing else, this wake up call was for me. It was an opportunity to remind me that I am somebody worth loving. It's amazing how far from that concept the last few years of constant scrutiny and recrimination has done to undo what Pat, Kathy, Tricha and Eve taught me so many years ago...I am loved beyond measure for being myself...even with all my faults and frailties intact.
Speaking of reconciliations...on Tuesday (when the pain of my son's actions are still fresh), my Dad calls to let me in on why my mother decided to stop speaking to me last year. WOW...first and foremost...WOW. Well, apparently my mother was given information about me that she is believing as, "God's truth". This information could have only come from my brother and it is in regard to activities at Texas MEP where I, Eve, and my brother worked in 2008-2010. So, here's the newest list of things I have done....
I stole "$2500.00 or more" from Texas MEP...I stole $1600.00" from my Dad, and I have stolen some undisclosed sum of money from my mother. WELL SHIT...first...I didn't steal anything from anyone, second...If I had stolen $2500.00 or more wouldn't I have been arrested? If I had stolen that much money from my father...does anyone think he would be speaking to me (We all know that he stops speaking over bad grades), and if I had stolen money from my mother...why on earth would she refuse to disclose an amount?
If the problem with Chris wasn't enough...this added fuel to my fires of regret and guilt. Always the scapegoat, always the reason my family is miserable, and forever paying for the sins of my past. At least that's how I felt for about 10 minutes. Then I remembered...I paid my debt, I strive to be the best person I can be...I have made amends. Finally, I am worth loving, I am strong, victorious, brave, and most of all...I deserve to be treated like a person and not like a suspect.
To appease my father, I sent my mother a letter with my letters of recommendation from a company I supposedly stole from, enclosed. However, Thanksgiving will be interesting, and I hope it doesn't turn into a fiasco I should have simply avoided. Eve and I laugh about it, and say that we should just make the day trip to Bossier and spend the day with people we love, and who love us without condition or exception.
Will keep you posted on how Turkey Day turns out....If nothing else, this wake up call was for me. It was an opportunity to remind me that I am somebody worth loving. It's amazing how far from that concept the last few years of constant scrutiny and recrimination has done to undo what Pat, Kathy, Tricha and Eve taught me so many years ago...I am loved beyond measure for being myself...even with all my faults and frailties intact.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
A Whole lot of Pain
The last day and a half have been very painful for me. I must look at the situation as a wake up call, and a reminder about how far I have come in my life. There have been times when I forget, when I choose to overlook the accomplishments, and when I measure what I have on what I think I deserve.
Unfortunately, Christopher decided the best place to air his anger and spew his venom is on a public forum - FaceBook. Chris decided it was his right to post about my prison interment and his loss of a mother for all those years right there on his page for the whole world to see. I am not worried about his friends, or my friends and family...I am livid that now, my co-workers, and colleagues in school, and friends who do not know about my past have opportunity to judge me based on a past they know nothing about.
Still, as angry as I am...I did what I did...I did spend 8 years in prison...I did leave my child (not to fend for himself, though - he was left with someone I trusted and cared for). It was not Chris' right to post that, but neither was it his choice those many years ago.
Here's the thing...rather than be proud of how far he and I have come since that time; rather than cherish the relationship we have been able to build in the 8 years since I have been home; rather than appreciate that he had a wife who loved me anyway...came to visit me in prison...let me care for the kids; rather than be thankful that I kept my life on hold, tied up our money, and risked everything to ensure his well-being all the years; Chris decides to wallow in the loss of his adolescence.
When I came home from prison, we worked through the time-line as though nothing had changed. Chris acted 14 - I treated him like he was 14. He got video games, and a place to stay...he got my full attention (even when that attention was a disservice to Eve), Chris got my advice, my chastisement, my support, and my undying devotion as a good mother. Our relationship mimicked that of a kid growing up and mother learning to accept her child's independence. It was a hard row to hoe, but I thought we had done it.
I know how angry my son is - and has a right to be. I have begged him to yell, scream, tell me how much he hated me for leaving. I have begged him to see a counselor. Nope...he's not ready. When he split from Kristi, I think he lost himself and the image of family. Every step has been in the direction of replacing what he threw away.
The most difficult part of this rift is the knowing that it is the final step for his adulthood. For some, the baby goes away to college, for others they simply watch their child walk down the aisle to a new and separate life...for me and Chris this is the necessary step for him to experience what it is to CHOOSE to leave home and live it on his own terms. I can accept that. I may not like how it feels, but at least, I can recognize it for what it is.
As for how he has treated Eve, as for "outing" me on FaceBook...Eve says she will never forgive him. I know she will. She has been a part of his life since he was 18 years old - he's almost 31 now. It will be a long time, though - I know that.
I sit here and think about how much this is part of the plan, but I cannot stop the tears streaming down my cheeks and the hole in my heart that hurts so bad, I am unsure of where to put the pain. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. But, this too, shall pass...it always does.
Unfortunately, Christopher decided the best place to air his anger and spew his venom is on a public forum - FaceBook. Chris decided it was his right to post about my prison interment and his loss of a mother for all those years right there on his page for the whole world to see. I am not worried about his friends, or my friends and family...I am livid that now, my co-workers, and colleagues in school, and friends who do not know about my past have opportunity to judge me based on a past they know nothing about.
Still, as angry as I am...I did what I did...I did spend 8 years in prison...I did leave my child (not to fend for himself, though - he was left with someone I trusted and cared for). It was not Chris' right to post that, but neither was it his choice those many years ago.
Here's the thing...rather than be proud of how far he and I have come since that time; rather than cherish the relationship we have been able to build in the 8 years since I have been home; rather than appreciate that he had a wife who loved me anyway...came to visit me in prison...let me care for the kids; rather than be thankful that I kept my life on hold, tied up our money, and risked everything to ensure his well-being all the years; Chris decides to wallow in the loss of his adolescence.
When I came home from prison, we worked through the time-line as though nothing had changed. Chris acted 14 - I treated him like he was 14. He got video games, and a place to stay...he got my full attention (even when that attention was a disservice to Eve), Chris got my advice, my chastisement, my support, and my undying devotion as a good mother. Our relationship mimicked that of a kid growing up and mother learning to accept her child's independence. It was a hard row to hoe, but I thought we had done it.
I know how angry my son is - and has a right to be. I have begged him to yell, scream, tell me how much he hated me for leaving. I have begged him to see a counselor. Nope...he's not ready. When he split from Kristi, I think he lost himself and the image of family. Every step has been in the direction of replacing what he threw away.
The most difficult part of this rift is the knowing that it is the final step for his adulthood. For some, the baby goes away to college, for others they simply watch their child walk down the aisle to a new and separate life...for me and Chris this is the necessary step for him to experience what it is to CHOOSE to leave home and live it on his own terms. I can accept that. I may not like how it feels, but at least, I can recognize it for what it is.
As for how he has treated Eve, as for "outing" me on FaceBook...Eve says she will never forgive him. I know she will. She has been a part of his life since he was 18 years old - he's almost 31 now. It will be a long time, though - I know that.
I sit here and think about how much this is part of the plan, but I cannot stop the tears streaming down my cheeks and the hole in my heart that hurts so bad, I am unsure of where to put the pain. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. But, this too, shall pass...it always does.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Being Andersen
My son is truly and Andersen. Whether he likes that, or continues on his current path, his actions prove his "Andersenship" more than ever.
I don't remember if everyone remembers what happened in 2009 - right after the cruise, but Chris ended his marriage to Kristi, took his children from their Rayville home for a month, and started living with a woman who was a well-known drug dealer in the Brenham area. Chris was using meth amphetamines (He had a psychotic break in April of the same year and spent a day hallucinating about people with guns all over the property). Eve and I did what we could - short of hospitalizing him - to get him safe. We called Kristi to come help since she would be the only person who could commit him, if necessary. Instead, Kristi got Chris to return to Rayville with her, and we hoped the worst had passed. Little did we know at the time, it was just a waiting game.
In my professional opinion, Chris suffered some irreparable brain damage from that experience because he has never been the same. There was a clear and distinct personality split wherein Chris decided to use his "real" name, Jacob. (That's long story and perhaps I will share it one day). Chris moved back into our home in October of 2009 under the guise of working for T A Design. He started seeing the same girl he was seeing during his drug episode. While Eve and I were away on the family cruise, Chris had the girl and her two children living in my home without permission and then lied about whether or not she was there. When we found out, he was livid and Eve and I were just being mean. During that time, I had also advised Chris to get his kids if he wanted them...I didn't mean GO get the kids, I meant, fight for them and reasonable visitation. Anyway, he and his new girlfriend went to Louisiana and took the kids out of school and Dylan and Alex lived with Chris and Dee and her drug warped father, and step-mother, and their children in a three bedroom, single wide trailer for one month. Eve and I failed, in that we let Kristi stay in our home...taking away Chris' only safe place on earth - but I cannot change the past...he was living in his insanity, and Eve and I made a bad decision.
During that time, Jacob allowed his live-in girlfriend to send text messages to me counting the numerous occasions I have failed as a mother. She cussed, accused, and 'told me all about myself'. I can handle the truth of what I did or didn't do for my son as he grew into adulthood. I am responsible for my actions. I am not; however, responsible for what he chooses, and how he lives his life - TODAY. Still I was (and always will be)willing to hear what he has to say and power through whatever he needs to get off his chest so he can move forward in life. Chris - no Jacob - decided to never speak to me again. He called Eve every name in the book and the venom he spewed was just as toxic as the drugs he consumed.
Once again, Chris ended the relationship with the girl and moved in with me and Eve. There were profuse apologies, cards and letters expressing his sorrow, and a repair of the relationship between Chris and Eve. It wasn't long, though - that Chris got into another relationship. He started seeing Amy, the girl with one child living with the father and one child growing in her belly. Gage and Kaleob have become just as important as my own, blood, grandchildren even though they belong to Amy and her ex.
We allowed Chris and Amy (Amy only calls Chris Jacob)to move in with us, and it's been a fiasco ever since. They finally moved into their own place in April of this year.
All of this back story is to get to the point that Chris - no Jacob - has decided, once again, that he no longer has a mother, wants a relationship, or loves and respects Eve. All of this over the fact that Eve and I have new phones and he and Amy still have old ones. So...let me break down the things he has gotten since my return home in 2004:
Eve and I got our new house in May of 2004 and Chris, Kristi, Dylan and Alex moved in with us the same day. They lived there- rent free - for three months and then Eve and Chris got into a fight about the electric bill and Chris and his family moved out to Ed's house for about 6 months. Then they moved back in with us. They lived there for another year, and then moved into their own place until they could not pay the bills. They moved to Rayville to live with Kristi's mom for a few months. In June of 2006, Eve and I moved to Houston to attend the University of Houston. We lived in a one bedroom, loft apartment. Chris and the family moved in with us...in that little bitty apartment...in October of that year. They lived there, rent free, until they found their own apartment. Eve and I moved to a townhouse on the southeast side of Houston, and it wasn't even a month until they moved in again. Again, rent free. Then Chris and Kristi went back to Rayville while I was on the archaeological dig (2008). When I returned, and Eve and I moved into the Belcamp house and then begins the rest of the story.
During all these 'live-ins', we have NEVER charged rent...we have only ever asked for Chris and his family to provide food. We have provided them with cell phones - at no cost - and allowed Chris to have the phone he wanted. Well, the phone was exactly what he wanted until it wasn't anymore, and then it was a POS that we tried to pass off to him. We have fed him, clothed him, let him use our car without restriction, given him gas money, and bought his cigarettes.
Each time, the use of our things has diminished in value to the point that Chris believes we owe him and are passing him over. Kristi wrecked my Mustang and then said, "They would HELP pay for the repairs"...Chris took my Ford Five Hundred to places I told him I didn't want it to go. He left me without transportation when my brother was in a motorcycle accident because he didn't want to come back (So, he just stopped answering the cell phone we provided for him, and came home with a story about how he fell asleep on the side of the road because he was so tired). He used my car to go back and forth to work 60 miles away (that's 120 miles a day)leaving me without my own transportation, and had the nerve to refuse to pay for oil changes and new tires when the time came due and there was no choice but to do those things or damage the vehicle. When they moved into the Forest Bluff house, I put them in the guestroom, but that wasn't good enough, or big enough, so I had to move my office out of the huge, back room, so they could have a place that felt comfortable. It's not that I HAD to do it, but the whining and complaining was incessant, so the decision was made to accommodate Chris and Amy. Then came the 'phone wars'. By default - not request - Eve and I got two new lines so we could get the phones we wanted for free. We discussed this with Chris and Amy prior to making the decision and Tmobile was running a deal that kids lines were free for one year. They wanted the phones and we gave them our old phones. They said they were happy with that, but of course, Chris is never happy. Chris wanted a touch screen so we agreed he could have a new phone as long as it didn't require data. He picked the phone he wanted. We went to the store and I ended up paying 250 for that phone. I could not use the phone I bought, so I offered it to Amy...Chris lost his ever loving mind and took the phone for himself. and gave Amy his phone. When he took my phone, he was told that he would have to pay for the data service (10.00 a month)..he NEVER paid. After a couple of months, we realized that we were going to suffer overage charges if we didn't increase the data for Chris' line - we did...20 a month. Things were okay for a minute. To get the phone I could use, we got another line (Since it was free). At this point there were no upgrades available for use....In July, Eve's line became eligible for an upgrade and she purchased a new phone. It was not the phone she wanted, it was the phone we could afford. Then my original line became eligible, so we bought a new phone for me. Chris took my old phone, but didn't like it and returned it. We had a family pow wow because Chris accused us of using the upgrades that should have been his and Amy's. Thought we had settled the issue (as much as you can settle anything with chris). Then, Chris took Eve's old phone and complained incessantly that he didn't like it. We told them again, that their lines would be eligible for partial upgrade in November of full upgrade in February...they were welcome to use the upgrade and we would even pitch in the 90.00 that Eve spent on her upgrade toward Amy's upgrade since Amy was the only one to never get a new phone. (Wasn't that really nice of us?) Finally, last night the kids came over for dinner and Chris noticed that Eve had a new phone (We bought it on Ebay because it was the phone that she really wanted). He got mad, left the house, and then sent me a text message about how I could turn his phone off because, once again, we didn't get Amy a new phone. WELL SHIT...
Chris decided that I am no longer his mother, he is going to change his name, and Eve is a BullDyke from hell. We owe them phones - for free, apparently. Over the years we have made sure Chris and his family had a roof over their head, transportation to and fro, cell phones and all the family support possible. Our current phone bill is 287.00 per month, for which he has paid a whopping 40.00 in 18 months.
So...whether my son wants to admit it or not...he is more an Andersen than I will ever be. The Andersen's believe in taking away their relationship with you if they disagree...My mom went 15 years without speaking a word to me. The most recent incommunicado has lasted 10 months. My Dad doesn't speak when he's angry, either. Unless you do what they want, you're nothing to them and not worth the conversation, relationship, or love. Here's to another Holiday season spent broken by someone in the family...weehoooo!
All over a phone...really?!!!
I don't remember if everyone remembers what happened in 2009 - right after the cruise, but Chris ended his marriage to Kristi, took his children from their Rayville home for a month, and started living with a woman who was a well-known drug dealer in the Brenham area. Chris was using meth amphetamines (He had a psychotic break in April of the same year and spent a day hallucinating about people with guns all over the property). Eve and I did what we could - short of hospitalizing him - to get him safe. We called Kristi to come help since she would be the only person who could commit him, if necessary. Instead, Kristi got Chris to return to Rayville with her, and we hoped the worst had passed. Little did we know at the time, it was just a waiting game.
In my professional opinion, Chris suffered some irreparable brain damage from that experience because he has never been the same. There was a clear and distinct personality split wherein Chris decided to use his "real" name, Jacob. (That's long story and perhaps I will share it one day). Chris moved back into our home in October of 2009 under the guise of working for T A Design. He started seeing the same girl he was seeing during his drug episode. While Eve and I were away on the family cruise, Chris had the girl and her two children living in my home without permission and then lied about whether or not she was there. When we found out, he was livid and Eve and I were just being mean. During that time, I had also advised Chris to get his kids if he wanted them...I didn't mean GO get the kids, I meant, fight for them and reasonable visitation. Anyway, he and his new girlfriend went to Louisiana and took the kids out of school and Dylan and Alex lived with Chris and Dee and her drug warped father, and step-mother, and their children in a three bedroom, single wide trailer for one month. Eve and I failed, in that we let Kristi stay in our home...taking away Chris' only safe place on earth - but I cannot change the past...he was living in his insanity, and Eve and I made a bad decision.
During that time, Jacob allowed his live-in girlfriend to send text messages to me counting the numerous occasions I have failed as a mother. She cussed, accused, and 'told me all about myself'. I can handle the truth of what I did or didn't do for my son as he grew into adulthood. I am responsible for my actions. I am not; however, responsible for what he chooses, and how he lives his life - TODAY. Still I was (and always will be)willing to hear what he has to say and power through whatever he needs to get off his chest so he can move forward in life. Chris - no Jacob - decided to never speak to me again. He called Eve every name in the book and the venom he spewed was just as toxic as the drugs he consumed.
Once again, Chris ended the relationship with the girl and moved in with me and Eve. There were profuse apologies, cards and letters expressing his sorrow, and a repair of the relationship between Chris and Eve. It wasn't long, though - that Chris got into another relationship. He started seeing Amy, the girl with one child living with the father and one child growing in her belly. Gage and Kaleob have become just as important as my own, blood, grandchildren even though they belong to Amy and her ex.
We allowed Chris and Amy (Amy only calls Chris Jacob)to move in with us, and it's been a fiasco ever since. They finally moved into their own place in April of this year.
All of this back story is to get to the point that Chris - no Jacob - has decided, once again, that he no longer has a mother, wants a relationship, or loves and respects Eve. All of this over the fact that Eve and I have new phones and he and Amy still have old ones. So...let me break down the things he has gotten since my return home in 2004:
Eve and I got our new house in May of 2004 and Chris, Kristi, Dylan and Alex moved in with us the same day. They lived there- rent free - for three months and then Eve and Chris got into a fight about the electric bill and Chris and his family moved out to Ed's house for about 6 months. Then they moved back in with us. They lived there for another year, and then moved into their own place until they could not pay the bills. They moved to Rayville to live with Kristi's mom for a few months. In June of 2006, Eve and I moved to Houston to attend the University of Houston. We lived in a one bedroom, loft apartment. Chris and the family moved in with us...in that little bitty apartment...in October of that year. They lived there, rent free, until they found their own apartment. Eve and I moved to a townhouse on the southeast side of Houston, and it wasn't even a month until they moved in again. Again, rent free. Then Chris and Kristi went back to Rayville while I was on the archaeological dig (2008). When I returned, and Eve and I moved into the Belcamp house and then begins the rest of the story.
During all these 'live-ins', we have NEVER charged rent...we have only ever asked for Chris and his family to provide food. We have provided them with cell phones - at no cost - and allowed Chris to have the phone he wanted. Well, the phone was exactly what he wanted until it wasn't anymore, and then it was a POS that we tried to pass off to him. We have fed him, clothed him, let him use our car without restriction, given him gas money, and bought his cigarettes.
Each time, the use of our things has diminished in value to the point that Chris believes we owe him and are passing him over. Kristi wrecked my Mustang and then said, "They would HELP pay for the repairs"...Chris took my Ford Five Hundred to places I told him I didn't want it to go. He left me without transportation when my brother was in a motorcycle accident because he didn't want to come back (So, he just stopped answering the cell phone we provided for him, and came home with a story about how he fell asleep on the side of the road because he was so tired). He used my car to go back and forth to work 60 miles away (that's 120 miles a day)leaving me without my own transportation, and had the nerve to refuse to pay for oil changes and new tires when the time came due and there was no choice but to do those things or damage the vehicle. When they moved into the Forest Bluff house, I put them in the guestroom, but that wasn't good enough, or big enough, so I had to move my office out of the huge, back room, so they could have a place that felt comfortable. It's not that I HAD to do it, but the whining and complaining was incessant, so the decision was made to accommodate Chris and Amy. Then came the 'phone wars'. By default - not request - Eve and I got two new lines so we could get the phones we wanted for free. We discussed this with Chris and Amy prior to making the decision and Tmobile was running a deal that kids lines were free for one year. They wanted the phones and we gave them our old phones. They said they were happy with that, but of course, Chris is never happy. Chris wanted a touch screen so we agreed he could have a new phone as long as it didn't require data. He picked the phone he wanted. We went to the store and I ended up paying 250 for that phone. I could not use the phone I bought, so I offered it to Amy...Chris lost his ever loving mind and took the phone for himself. and gave Amy his phone. When he took my phone, he was told that he would have to pay for the data service (10.00 a month)..he NEVER paid. After a couple of months, we realized that we were going to suffer overage charges if we didn't increase the data for Chris' line - we did...20 a month. Things were okay for a minute. To get the phone I could use, we got another line (Since it was free). At this point there were no upgrades available for use....In July, Eve's line became eligible for an upgrade and she purchased a new phone. It was not the phone she wanted, it was the phone we could afford. Then my original line became eligible, so we bought a new phone for me. Chris took my old phone, but didn't like it and returned it. We had a family pow wow because Chris accused us of using the upgrades that should have been his and Amy's. Thought we had settled the issue (as much as you can settle anything with chris). Then, Chris took Eve's old phone and complained incessantly that he didn't like it. We told them again, that their lines would be eligible for partial upgrade in November of full upgrade in February...they were welcome to use the upgrade and we would even pitch in the 90.00 that Eve spent on her upgrade toward Amy's upgrade since Amy was the only one to never get a new phone. (Wasn't that really nice of us?) Finally, last night the kids came over for dinner and Chris noticed that Eve had a new phone (We bought it on Ebay because it was the phone that she really wanted). He got mad, left the house, and then sent me a text message about how I could turn his phone off because, once again, we didn't get Amy a new phone. WELL SHIT...
Chris decided that I am no longer his mother, he is going to change his name, and Eve is a BullDyke from hell. We owe them phones - for free, apparently. Over the years we have made sure Chris and his family had a roof over their head, transportation to and fro, cell phones and all the family support possible. Our current phone bill is 287.00 per month, for which he has paid a whopping 40.00 in 18 months.
So...whether my son wants to admit it or not...he is more an Andersen than I will ever be. The Andersen's believe in taking away their relationship with you if they disagree...My mom went 15 years without speaking a word to me. The most recent incommunicado has lasted 10 months. My Dad doesn't speak when he's angry, either. Unless you do what they want, you're nothing to them and not worth the conversation, relationship, or love. Here's to another Holiday season spent broken by someone in the family...weehoooo!
All over a phone...really?!!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wow...almost an entire month
I have been a blogger slacker as of late. Bad Kimmie, bad Kimmie! Things have been odd, strange, and weird in our world, lately. The whole family had some version of Montezuma's revenge for about 3 weeks. First Amy and the boys had a bug, then Christopher got it, then me, and finally, Eve. Each of us had something terrible to varying degrees and length. Mostly, it was throwing up and trips to the potty with pail in hand (for the occasional explosion that couldn't be contained). It was horrible and left us weak for days afterward. Fortunately, we are all well again! On the upside...I lost 8 pounds as a result of the illness - weeehooo!
I cannot believe I am going to reveal to everyone that I absolutely hate my PhD program. I don't like the forum, the subject matter, or the lack of interaction from professors. I am also amazed by some of my colleagues. HOW did they get into a PhD program, at all!!!!! One student responded to my discussion post about my future plans with a long discussion about how I intend to provide conversion therapy to "Gays". OMG...even the professor had some admonishment for this participant. I haven't seen her name pop up on anymore discussion questions either. Makes me wonder if she withdrew or was asked to refrain from posting...hmmmm. I would love to re-post her entire discussion, but think that might be unethical on a public forum.
Chris has had trouble finding a way to balance work and school and providing for a family. I am not surprised. People like Kathy, Tricha, and I are actually kind of rare. We are able to focus, prioritize, and plan accordingly in effort to achieve a self-imposed goal. It has nothing to do with intelligence (although we're really smart), it has more to do with personal motivation and convictions. So...Christopher is really smart, but not very motivated or focused. He opted to withdraw from classes until next fall. This would have been a wise decision had he not been laid off from work the very next Monday. Now, he's depressed and feels that he just cannot get ahead. Fortunately, the staffing agency found another position for him right away and he starts his new job today. I told him that things work out exactly as they're supposed to - keep his chin up - yadda yadda yadda, and lo and behold the new position is a forklift operator (which he loves) and the hours are more conducive to his internal clock. Chris works 11-8 M-F and every other Saturday. That's perfect for him...he is NOT a morning person! The pay is 2 dollars less per hour, but he'll be able to bring his wage up when he transitions to a permanent employee.
Something funny did occur. We had rain (no that's not the funny part) and Joe has never seen or heard it since his birth. We had a huge storm with thunder and lightning and skies as dark as rubber. Joe's ears laid back, he cowered, and ran through the house like the roof might cave in at any moment. Even Mr. Frodo forgot what a storm was and sat in my lap trembling and shivering. It was funny to see their reactions. Had you been here, you certainly would have been laughing.
Finally, there is big news. After twelve years, (3 spent apart), Eve has asked me the formal question. On September 18th (because she could not wait until my birthday) she presented me with the most gorgeous ring and asked me to be her partner for life. Of course, I said yes (Eve answered my proposal about 5 years ago). We have applied for our marriage license in New York and have three months to go to the New York Clerk's office to get our license. Then we have 18 months to make it official. So....we're having a commitment ceremony for all of our friends and family on May 04, 2013, and we're having a legal ceremony (complete with name change) shortly before that. We've chosen the venue, the colors, and picked our attire. We're making our guest list (approximately 100 people). It's going to be a fabulous and fun event. We're chartering a yacht so the wedding, dinner, and reception are all inclusive. All of our guests will have a room for the night at the resort where the yacht is located, and we're looking into chartering transportation from Shreveport for all of our Louisiana attendees. I was surprised how economical it is for the rooms and a bus (since we don't have to pay a photographer separately or hire a caterer...budget permits us to pay for the rooms and the charter. WEEHOOO We're excited and we hope everyone we know and love is as excited.
Okay, gonna get to work on my papers. I will do better about blogging. Love to all!!
I cannot believe I am going to reveal to everyone that I absolutely hate my PhD program. I don't like the forum, the subject matter, or the lack of interaction from professors. I am also amazed by some of my colleagues. HOW did they get into a PhD program, at all!!!!! One student responded to my discussion post about my future plans with a long discussion about how I intend to provide conversion therapy to "Gays". OMG...even the professor had some admonishment for this participant. I haven't seen her name pop up on anymore discussion questions either. Makes me wonder if she withdrew or was asked to refrain from posting...hmmmm. I would love to re-post her entire discussion, but think that might be unethical on a public forum.
Chris has had trouble finding a way to balance work and school and providing for a family. I am not surprised. People like Kathy, Tricha, and I are actually kind of rare. We are able to focus, prioritize, and plan accordingly in effort to achieve a self-imposed goal. It has nothing to do with intelligence (although we're really smart), it has more to do with personal motivation and convictions. So...Christopher is really smart, but not very motivated or focused. He opted to withdraw from classes until next fall. This would have been a wise decision had he not been laid off from work the very next Monday. Now, he's depressed and feels that he just cannot get ahead. Fortunately, the staffing agency found another position for him right away and he starts his new job today. I told him that things work out exactly as they're supposed to - keep his chin up - yadda yadda yadda, and lo and behold the new position is a forklift operator (which he loves) and the hours are more conducive to his internal clock. Chris works 11-8 M-F and every other Saturday. That's perfect for him...he is NOT a morning person! The pay is 2 dollars less per hour, but he'll be able to bring his wage up when he transitions to a permanent employee.
Something funny did occur. We had rain (no that's not the funny part) and Joe has never seen or heard it since his birth. We had a huge storm with thunder and lightning and skies as dark as rubber. Joe's ears laid back, he cowered, and ran through the house like the roof might cave in at any moment. Even Mr. Frodo forgot what a storm was and sat in my lap trembling and shivering. It was funny to see their reactions. Had you been here, you certainly would have been laughing.
Finally, there is big news. After twelve years, (3 spent apart), Eve has asked me the formal question. On September 18th (because she could not wait until my birthday) she presented me with the most gorgeous ring and asked me to be her partner for life. Of course, I said yes (Eve answered my proposal about 5 years ago). We have applied for our marriage license in New York and have three months to go to the New York Clerk's office to get our license. Then we have 18 months to make it official. So....we're having a commitment ceremony for all of our friends and family on May 04, 2013, and we're having a legal ceremony (complete with name change) shortly before that. We've chosen the venue, the colors, and picked our attire. We're making our guest list (approximately 100 people). It's going to be a fabulous and fun event. We're chartering a yacht so the wedding, dinner, and reception are all inclusive. All of our guests will have a room for the night at the resort where the yacht is located, and we're looking into chartering transportation from Shreveport for all of our Louisiana attendees. I was surprised how economical it is for the rooms and a bus (since we don't have to pay a photographer separately or hire a caterer...budget permits us to pay for the rooms and the charter. WEEHOOO We're excited and we hope everyone we know and love is as excited.
Okay, gonna get to work on my papers. I will do better about blogging. Love to all!!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
First days of my PhD program
Well, it is finally here. I am reading, writing, and thinking critically again. Hmmm, critical thinking skills require thinking outside the box...well, we all do that each and every day - don't we? For instance, 'what shall I cook for dinner' means that I must assess what food is available in my freezer and pantry, what will both Eve and I like to consume in regard to weather, day's activities, and current cravings or desires, how much time will I need or be willing to expend on this particular meal, and finally, what I can I do differently to this meal or this process to make it more tasty or less time consuming. So, I have critically thought about our dinner and decided that grilled chicken with a side of bowtie fettucini and seared asparagus works well for us. Viola' critical thinking in everyday application!
The Walden University portal is very different than the Kaplan University portal. There is much more resource and professor interaction available; however, it is a little more difficult to navigate. Of course, it's all point and click, but first you have to find what to point at. WOW. I am sure I will be a pro at it within the next couple of weeks. I am already enjoying how the pace works. Kaplan's requirements were very taxing with four 4-10 pages of written essay per week with two, one page peer responses per week. That was approximately 40-50 pages of writing per week!!! OMG! Walden requires me to make a thoughtful two paragraph post to the discussion question and respond to one peer with a meaningful continuation or question in two or less paragraphs. That's a breeze for me at this point. Furthermore, I only have two final projects of 15-20 pages for each class. I am stoked about the ability to apply more research and independent thought to my lessons instead of merely spewing out information so I can get all the work completed on time.
I still have a lot to learn in regard to this program. I have residency requirements to meet and am still not sure about how to make that happen. There is an overview, which states that I must attend four residency functions per year, and attend four conferences per year. However, there is not a clear definition of how, when, and where. I can pull up the calendar, but it doesn't really explain which function is specifically designed for Clinical Psychology students. Guess that means I will be speaking to my academic advisor quite a lot in the beginning. At this moment, it looks like I might be travelling to the University of Hawaii in December to attend my first Academic Year in Residency function. I am excited - if that's the case.
On to a different note...Dad's caretakers left him high and dry about two months ago. Since he has been unable to find replacements, I have been going out to the ranch two to three times a month to attend to things while Dad is in Tahoe or New York. It's nice out there, and I love the country living! I stay in the main house and tend to the dogs, water the plants that are not on the irrigation system, and do general cleaning. It's quiet, relaxing, and oh, so wonderful. Even though I have such a nice time, it's still good to get home after 4-5 days away.
All is going well in our home. Our schedules are pretty solid and it's nice to have the routine. I work on the weekends (THU-SAT - with an occasional SUN), and that pays the rent and some of the other bills. It's nice to have the freedom that my income provides. When I go out the country - Dad pays me the wages I lose by not going in to Dog's Day Inn.
Guess I have rattled on long enough...Oh, I have a wonderful recipe for all who are interested.
Pork Loin
Smoked Gouda
Frozen or fresh Spinach
Dried apricot
Garlic Cloves
Bacon
Toothpicks
salt, pepper, and season to taste
*Pound out the loin until a flat piece of meat
*Generously cover the piece with Spinach, apricot, garlic cloves and top with the smoke gouda
*roll the meat so that your filling is spiraled in the roll
*wrap slices of bacon around the loin roll and use toothpicks to keep them in place
*put the loin on the grill using medium heat and cook for approximately 25-35 minutes. Slice into medallions and serve warm.
I post a really generic recipe so that you can experiment and play with seasonings and portions. The meal can be really spicy or very rich depending on your family's taste buds. Eve and I like the deep smoky flavor of the cheese blended with the sweet hint from the apricot. I would not recommend any orange cheeses, but that's entirely up to you. An interesting twist might be to use Raspberry, Pepper Jack, and grilled onions for your filler. Whatever you do...tell me about the results and ENJOY!!!
The Walden University portal is very different than the Kaplan University portal. There is much more resource and professor interaction available; however, it is a little more difficult to navigate. Of course, it's all point and click, but first you have to find what to point at. WOW. I am sure I will be a pro at it within the next couple of weeks. I am already enjoying how the pace works. Kaplan's requirements were very taxing with four 4-10 pages of written essay per week with two, one page peer responses per week. That was approximately 40-50 pages of writing per week!!! OMG! Walden requires me to make a thoughtful two paragraph post to the discussion question and respond to one peer with a meaningful continuation or question in two or less paragraphs. That's a breeze for me at this point. Furthermore, I only have two final projects of 15-20 pages for each class. I am stoked about the ability to apply more research and independent thought to my lessons instead of merely spewing out information so I can get all the work completed on time.
I still have a lot to learn in regard to this program. I have residency requirements to meet and am still not sure about how to make that happen. There is an overview, which states that I must attend four residency functions per year, and attend four conferences per year. However, there is not a clear definition of how, when, and where. I can pull up the calendar, but it doesn't really explain which function is specifically designed for Clinical Psychology students. Guess that means I will be speaking to my academic advisor quite a lot in the beginning. At this moment, it looks like I might be travelling to the University of Hawaii in December to attend my first Academic Year in Residency function. I am excited - if that's the case.
On to a different note...Dad's caretakers left him high and dry about two months ago. Since he has been unable to find replacements, I have been going out to the ranch two to three times a month to attend to things while Dad is in Tahoe or New York. It's nice out there, and I love the country living! I stay in the main house and tend to the dogs, water the plants that are not on the irrigation system, and do general cleaning. It's quiet, relaxing, and oh, so wonderful. Even though I have such a nice time, it's still good to get home after 4-5 days away.
All is going well in our home. Our schedules are pretty solid and it's nice to have the routine. I work on the weekends (THU-SAT - with an occasional SUN), and that pays the rent and some of the other bills. It's nice to have the freedom that my income provides. When I go out the country - Dad pays me the wages I lose by not going in to Dog's Day Inn.
Guess I have rattled on long enough...Oh, I have a wonderful recipe for all who are interested.
Pork Loin
Smoked Gouda
Frozen or fresh Spinach
Dried apricot
Garlic Cloves
Bacon
Toothpicks
salt, pepper, and season to taste
*Pound out the loin until a flat piece of meat
*Generously cover the piece with Spinach, apricot, garlic cloves and top with the smoke gouda
*roll the meat so that your filling is spiraled in the roll
*wrap slices of bacon around the loin roll and use toothpicks to keep them in place
*put the loin on the grill using medium heat and cook for approximately 25-35 minutes. Slice into medallions and serve warm.
I post a really generic recipe so that you can experiment and play with seasonings and portions. The meal can be really spicy or very rich depending on your family's taste buds. Eve and I like the deep smoky flavor of the cheese blended with the sweet hint from the apricot. I would not recommend any orange cheeses, but that's entirely up to you. An interesting twist might be to use Raspberry, Pepper Jack, and grilled onions for your filler. Whatever you do...tell me about the results and ENJOY!!!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Two weeks of leisure left.
I am just a little shy of two weeks left until I start my PhD program. I am excited, and terrified. Research, studying, writing like a mad woman...ooh, it all starts again.
Today I am going out to the country to dog sit and do a few things out at the ranch while Dad goes to Lake Charles. I was supposed to go out on Wednesday as Dad was going to New York, but because of hurricane Irene, the trip was postponed. It'll be nice and quiet. Just an overnight trip this time. Next week Dad needs me from Thursday thru Sunday. Not sure that will work with my job, though. We will see.
I am enjoying my free time. It's nice to have no responsibilities or pressing engagements for a little bit. My house is spotless, I have read a book, surfed the web, and lazed around for several days. It's been nice, real nice.
Well, I will write more when I have some interesting things to say (not that this was all that interesting). Love to all!!!
Today I am going out to the country to dog sit and do a few things out at the ranch while Dad goes to Lake Charles. I was supposed to go out on Wednesday as Dad was going to New York, but because of hurricane Irene, the trip was postponed. It'll be nice and quiet. Just an overnight trip this time. Next week Dad needs me from Thursday thru Sunday. Not sure that will work with my job, though. We will see.
I am enjoying my free time. It's nice to have no responsibilities or pressing engagements for a little bit. My house is spotless, I have read a book, surfed the web, and lazed around for several days. It's been nice, real nice.
Well, I will write more when I have some interesting things to say (not that this was all that interesting). Love to all!!!
