Dysfunctional^2

It never ceases to amaze me how much control parents have over the emotional well being of their children. I lived in my parent's home for thirteen and a half years of my forty-six years of life. That's not that long, yet everything I think and do is directly related to the teachings, thoughts, and fears of those family ties.

My brother was in a motorcycle accident last weekend. The key word here, is accident! Should he have been more careful than to ride in the rain...it wasn't raining when he started out that evening. Is he a magnet for unfortunate incidences...that's an understatement - to say the least!

I posted about my parent's bad behavior upon first notice of the accident. Dad angrily assuming Chris expected him to pay for hospitalization or medical expenses. Mom's first reaction was anger that Chris was on a motorcycle again. Tim, as ever, relatively silent in regard to the situation. Me...well, I am definitely one to speak my mind...yelled at my parents for their inappropriate behavior. I called Chris to see how he was and what the prognosis was...Dad wants the phone because he NEEDS his keys to get into the new "old" house - not to make sure his son is faring well. Not one family member went to visit Chris while he was in Scott & White - No excuse for me not going either...no extra money, no gas...kids had my car and didn't return with it as I requested...still...he's my brother and I should have gotten there and camped out in his room. I am ashamed of myself, too.

So...I drove to Temple on Tuesday to bring Chris home from the hospital. He looked rough, but alive and on the mend. We get back to the ranch and Dad has medication for Chris. It's a mild pain reliever. Well, Chris spent an extra day in the hospital because they were trying to find a medication that worked...Narco was the only one and Dad refuses to get that drug because he's afraid of addiction. Well, yes, that's a possibility; however, the strong medication is necessary to keep Chris comfortable and reduce movements which may keep him from healing properly. I am livid, but cannot afford to go get the proper medication for Chris.

Yesterday, Dad calls and wants me to call Todd. It's wrong that Todd took all of Chris' money, but then again...Chris' accident cost Todd over 10, 000.00 because the bike had no insurance on it. I see both sides of the coin. Todd could've at least offered to get Chris' script. Anyway....Dad is angry with Todd, angry with Chris, and to add insult to injury, angry with CHris' girlfriend, Lauren, because one of her dogs bit NancyLee. All this to say...Dad kicked Chris out yesterday. He said it was just too much stress.

My brother...unable to work right now, no money, and nowhere to go. Talk about a kick in the teeth. Where is the conscience in hurting someone you say you love without measure. It took a year and a half of me interfering just to get Chris to be willing to re-associate with his family. Dad tore that down in one fail swoop. Chris thinks that it's me who meddled so much as to get Dad to kick him out.

I am sickened by this latest turn of events and wondering if it makes me just like Mom and Dad when I say that I think I have had enough. Wondering if I am a horrible person for thinking I should keep my distance - send cards and well wishes - but stop attending lunch bunch or family functions. NancyLee said she had never seen a man look so broken and it breaks my heart to think my little brother (so what that he's 45) thrown out like yesterday's paper.

I love my family in spite of all their failures and frailties...why can't they be more loving and open? Oh well...that's the way it is, and just the way it's always been. I have tried to keep us together...I have failed miserably.