seeing everyone we love

What a wonderful Christmas this year. We got to spend time with ALL the people we love. It was a little different that usual because we have so many people in our lives that Christmas seemed to last the whole twelve days....

The Rojas family is such a part of our lives and it was such a good time shared playing games, laughing, eating, and laughing some more.

Mom, Dad, and Tim...always so gracious...always such a beautiful experience, made the holiday warm, loving, fancy, and perfect

Mark and Tina share their home and their hearts with all of us and it's so relaxed and feels like family. We love spending time there...as always...great food, great people, beautiful decorations!

Tricha and David always make sure tradition is upheld. We had such a wonderful time there. Emily is growing up so fast. Sharing Christmas day with them was fantastic.

Dylan and Alex were such a joy! Kristi looked beautiful, Dylan has grown so much and is so smart. Alex is still just as sweet and loving as ever. Watching them play with their gifts and sharing the day with them was amazing!!!

Usually, I have a little bit of the blues after the holiday has come to a close; but this year...I am filled with such joy and know that when Eve and I make the journey to New Jersey...we will feel that we were able to make the proper good byes and have the best memories of Christmas joy.

Thanks to all of our families for making this the best Christmas EVER!

Checklist? Check!

Okay, there's only 1 more day til our holiday festivities really get underway. Eve has an office party today, then she's off at noon tomorrow for the remainder of the Christmas holiday. WEEEHOOO....so, the checklist comes out...

1. is all the laundry done for the trip? Yes
2. are all the gifts wrapped and ready to go? Yes
3. Have we changed all the Christmas counters to the correct number of days? Yes
4. Are we near all the people we love or making plans to see them? YES
5. Is there joy in our hearts? YES

I love Christmas so much...not for the gifts, not for the lights, and the glittery things (although my heart does beat faster, and my smile widens when I see the sparkles), but for the meaning of the season. I love how families come together to share their stories, their laughter and their love. I love how the clerk at the register smiles a little more, wishes me a joyous season. I love how I am a better person during this time of year. I love the gleam in the kid's eyes - big and little! I love the carol-filled trips to Mom and Dad's, Grandma and Grandpa's, and all those we love! I love the thought that on this day God saw me and sent a savior for me - the greatest gift of all.

Ho Ho Ho....Merry Christmas...may this season's joy last throughout the year.

Getting ready for the Holiday

Wow...is it really only nine days til Christmas? No matter how prepared I am - the holiday rushes in! I love it though...getting excited about gifting and sharing and spending time with family!!!!

It's been an interesting ride in regard to our travel this year. First, we made plans to go to Bossier or Longview this year. Then, we realized that the loss of my job may make that trip impossible. Now we have decided that "it's only money - we'll make more" and threw caution to the wind. Yea!!!!! This weekend we're sharing a wonderful traditional Italian Christmas dinner with my brother and his girldfriend, Lauren on Saturday, then after they leave, we're going to Whispers to share Christmas and Birthday celebrations with our friend Melvin. Next on Sunday, we're sharing a wonderful Christmas celebration with our friends, Frannie and Robert, Kane, Edward, Briana, and Caralinna. Next, Christmas Eve's eve, we're going out to the ranch to celebrate the holiday with my Dad, Tim, Mom, and the kids. We'll wake up early on Christmas Eve morning and share Christmas with Chris, Amy, Gage and Kaleob. Then, we're driving to Bossier on Christmas Eve to share the holiday with Mark, Tina, the kids, and many other loved ones...then we're driving to Longview to share the joy of waking up Christmas morning with loved ones and watch the baby (Emily) open her Christmas gifts. Later that same morning...we're going to drive to Rayville to see Dylan and Alex (We miss them sooooo much). Finally, on Christmas evening, we're driving back home to have a day of relaxation and fiddling with Santa's presents.

Wow...we're some pretty busy folks this season, but it's wonderful, awesome, fantastic, and very festive. Eve and I are so blessed and thankful for the people in our lives. I was listening to the news this morning and heard this man talking about his book...365 days of gratitude...every day of the year he writes a 'thank you' letter to someone in his life - one day he wrote one to the two people at the coffee shop who always remember his name and what he drinks. What an amazing gift of self. This gentleman said that he got the inspiration while on a walk in the mountains when life wasn't going so great. He realized that until he was thankful for what he had...he could never be hopeful for the things the wanted. What a wonderful message, and I think I will adopt that practice...so...if you get a thank you letter from me just for being you...know that I am forever endebted to the people in my life and their love, which makes me who I am today. For starters...a broadcast "THANK YOU" to the family who supported me no matter what...to my landlord who provides my shelter...to the A&M staff who saved Mr. Frodo's life...to my co-workers, past, present and future, who make a day go by...to my professors who challenge and motivate me...AND, to Bill Gates...who made this entire blogging experience reality.

I love you all...wish you the happiest of Holiday Seasons, and hope everyone is feeling the same joy as me!

time to breathe

Finally, I have some time to spend doing things gone to the wayside. With all the holiday decorating, Thanksgiving preparations, extra long hours at work and traveling behind me for a moment, it is nice to get home early, brew a pot of coffee, and spend some time attending to personal needs.

I love the holidays, but there's always so much to do. This week - in the grooming industry - there are almost no dogs coming to the shop. People who usually have the dogs hair cut short are only getting baths since it's starting to get cold. People who are close to time for the next groom either just had it done for Thanksgiving or are waiting to a little closer to Christmas. I will probably not have much work to do for the next ten days or so. That's awesome!!! I am home by noon and can spend time researching, reading, or cleaning before my babysitting duties begin.

Oh...did I forget to mention that since Amy went back to work, I babysit on Monday, Wednesday and Thursdays. It's a lot! Can't spend time on the puter since the kids require constant supervision. I love the time with them, though. We're moving to New Jersey in August of 2011 and then I won't get to see them very often, at all.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Shreveport and at the Ranch. Family is such a wonderful part of who I am. I am so blessed for all the people in my life. Christmas will be different. Eve and I are going to Bossier, but not sure what for, really. I have to work on Christmas Eve - so by the time we get to Bossier, the festivities will be winding down or already over. That means we'll be at a hotel on Christmas Eve and wake up Christmas morning uncertain of what the plans are for the day. I want to go to Rayville to see Dylan and Alex before I move 2000 miles away from them. I want to share the holiday with Pat, Kathy, Tricha, David, and Emily, but everyone's got their own thing going on. We want to share the day with Grandma and Grandpa, but don't want to invite ourselves to their house and make people feel like they have to include us in gift giving and so forth. I want to spend Christmas with Chris, Amy, Gage, and Kaleob, but we just cannot spread ourselves that thin...what a dilemma!

Oh well...it'll be what it's supposed to be and as long as I am with Eve on Christmas morning...all is right with the world.

The Not so Distant Future

Things are leveling out around here...for no apparent reason. Life just seems to be moving slower, and certainly, at a much more manageable rate. School is just as hard, the kids are just as noisy, the dogs at work are just as unpredictable...still, it's not feeling as tough as it used to.

Perhaps it is the knowledge that the holiday season is fast approaching making my days feel more productive. The holidays are favorite time of the year - for sure! All the trick or treaters have gone away. Pumpkins and ghost are quietly resting in the attic for another year, and the house is clean, clean, clean (because I decided that if you want a job done correctly...do it yourself).

Eve and I are SOOOOO excited to be spending this Thanksgiving and Christmas season in Bossier City. Even though we split the holidays and it's only been one missed season...it seems forever since we've spent the actual days with our Tate family. We love the Andersen's, too, but it's nice to switch it up and travel for the big days.

Chris' paramedic program is going so well. Last night he worked at the hospital in Conroe and got some real good exposure to car accident victims, women in labor, overdoses, and one severed finger...He's on fire for his profession. I always knew he would be!

Amy will probably start working at the Speedy Stop where Eve used to work. It'll be good for her. Her's and Chris' finances are not that good, so the job will help relieve some of their stress, which, of course, rubs off on me and Eve.

School is pretty easy this session. I appreciate that after the last session. It was so hard, I began wondering if I was even cut out for graduate school. Alas, I am. Still excited about, at least.

Gonna stop babbling and move on to some necessary homework. Have had a lot of fun the last couple of weekends...need to stop that, so there's a lot of fun left in me for the Thanksgiving weekend.

Love to all!!!!

Whew

Well this semester is almost complete. My last day to turn in all work for grading is tomorrow. It has been such a difficult row to hoe this go around...I am behind and using yesterday and today to work like a mad woman to catch up and try to earn some extra points so I can come away with an A in both of my classes. Wish me luck.

Eve's trip to Chicago was quite a strain on our little family. I am the queen of realism and the ability to look at all sides of a problem. Well, when we heard of Uncle Marty's funeral plans I immediately started looking for a plane ticket for Eve...Leave on the red-eye on Saturday morning and return on the 11pm flight on Saturday night...no lost wages, still a day to recuperate before work on Monday...Eve felt the trip was too quick even though the ticket was only 278.00. So...I looked for a flight leaving at 6pm on Friday and returning at 9am on Sunday..just a little more - 433.00 still reasonable since I was sure she could share a hotel room with someone upon arrival. Still, Eve can be very resistant to things that don't make sense to her. Instead of flying, she decided to drive up with her Mom, Dad, and Uncle Mark. So..112.00 for her part of the accommodations; 50.00 in food for the weekend; 360.00 in lost wages (three days off from work); 200.00 for vehicle disaster on the road (had to be towed by Pat and Mark back to Kingwood; 475.00 for said vehicle repairs. Now...the vehicle costs would have occurred whether Eve went to Chicago or not, but the cost to get the vehicle home would have zero, zip, nada...just the repair would have been necessary (by the way, we're having to replace the engine control module - the brain of the car and a couple of power steering lines). So Eve's trip cost us a little over 700.00 plus the additional 475.00 in vehicle repairs...WHEW...that's a lot of money! Can I get a big, "I told you so" hehehehehe

Not all bad, though. For the first time in a very long time, Eve and I are the recipients of a reimbursement from the bank over a disputed charge to the account. The original charge cost us a few overdraft fees. After we made the complain about 3 months ago, and the money wasn't returned, we just figured we weren't going to get any resolution and sucked up the loss. Well, the day before yesterday the bank returned ALL of the money in dispute, and ALL bank charges and fees that occurred since the charge. It's more than I or Eve expected. Weeehooo...783.00 returned to our account at a time when we REALLY need the money!!!!!

All I can say is WHEW..10 days between classes...money is back on track...work is going well...Mini Vacay for Emmy's birthday third weekend in October (we're both taking off early on Friday and I am taking off on Saturday that weekend).

The cycle of life

Wow, what a wonderful weekend filled with celebrating my birthday!! Friday night we went out to eat at Joe's Crab Shack and then off to Whispers for a couple of drinks. Eve and I took Melvin with us and had a wonderful time. Saturday was a trip out to the ranch where my family treated me to awesome steaks, great conversation, and fabulous gifts. Mom gave me a beautiful watch and an awesome dessert cookbook. Dad and Tim gave me several thousand dollars toward the big move to my PH.D. endeavor. Joyce gave me Yankee Candle Potpourri and as always, some much needed cash. The kids gave me the neatest tea light vase. Then it was off to Trixie's (aka Melvin) drag show and Eve and I had the best time ever. Sunday was spent relaxing and sleeping alot. Amy made french toast for breakfast, and then I received MORE gifts from them. A candle warmer, and an EASY button (I LOVE that thought). Finally, on Monday the girls from work took me out to Chuys for drinks, fajitas, cake, much laughter and wonderful gifts. Rhonda gave me a Morenci Candle (creme brulee') that smells heavenly and this really neat key hanger for my purse. That's an awesome gift since I usually have this huge conglomeration of keys so they don't get lost in the bottom of my bag. I got hundreds of birthday wishes on Facebook and calls from all the important people in my life. I feel so blessed to have the people in my life that I have. Everyone made this birthday seem important to them and I love them for their sentiment.

During all of this excitement, we received a call from Eve's Mom on Saturday evening at 9:16pm. Uncle Marty died suddenly and everyone is in shock. Eve and I cried like little kids about the loss of someone so magnanimous that he could touch the hearts of people who only see him every few years. Personally, I only had opportunity to spend two occasions with Marty. I met him at Tricha and David's wedding six years ago, and then spent a week with him and Aunt Carol on the cruise two years ago, but his impact on my heart made an impression that will last long beyond his presence on this planet.

Eve will be driving up to Chicago with her parents on Thursday and they'll return on Sunday. I wish we could afford for me to go, as well, but we just can't swing it. My heart, mind, and prayers are extended to the family who treats me as their own during this time of grief.

It's usually the birth of a child that prods people to think about the cycle of life. This time,there is the subtle nudge that life is meant to be lived fully and completely with the enthusiasm that Martin Russo presented to all who knew him. It is not just enough to strive for success, but more that one share his or her smile, laughter, happiness, and wit with those who need a lift. Thanks to Uncle Marty for this reminder.

A breatherVE

Ahhhh, finally a real day off. For the past 10-12 weeks life has been so weird I have not had a real day off. Today...the world is brighter, the birds are chirping, and all is right in life. I was lazy and slept in until 7:15am..I woke on my own with no pressing agenda - stretched, rose, piddled around in the kitchen all while listening to the morning news and feeling very much myself again.

This weekend we traveled to Shreveport to our friends' commitment ceremony. It was the most perfect expression of their eclectic personalities! Never before have I been so moved by a ceremony - I cried - terribly unusual for me. The dress, the music, the candor..all such a beautiful representation of Andrea and Tonya's sense of humor, love for each other, and most importantly, love for the life they share. We are honored to have been a part of such a heartfelt expression of what's good in this world.

Eve and I spent hours discussing the service and our friends. At one point Tricha (Eve's sister) asked if we were going to have a ceremony. Well....we would love to have one - a real marriage - in a state where it's legal, but we're saddened by the thought that the only family members present would be Tricha, Chris, Amy, Gage and Kaloeb. We have a lot of friends who would come, but they're all in southern states and to think they would travel to Eastern seaboard is unrealistic. Eve and I feel married, we think married, we live our lives married so for us, the legal ceremony serves only to give us the same rights as our heterosexual friends and family. We would like to have medical insurance as a married couple, we would like to be able to legally make decisions for one another, we would appreciate the legal right to claim taxes as a married couple. We wonder why people who love us don't understand those things...sometimes we think that selfishness says that those people think they're better than us in some way. It speaks to us that it's nice that we work, pay taxes, live our lives with responsibility, meet our obligations, love our friends and families..yadda, yadda, yadda, BUT...how dare we consider that we shouldn't have to work harder, pay more, love harder than anyone else. It's almost a slap in the face sometimes..."we love you"; "we're happy to share our lives with you" and then there's a rush to the priest...a firm disapproval of participation in the mainstream marriage and relationship endeavors...a clear and apparent distaste for our need to treated the same as any other married couple.

I know I am ranting...not everyone treats us this way...in fact, most do not. Eve and I love each other and at the end of the day...eleven years later...what others 'permit' us has little bearing on our commitment to each other and the people in our lives.

See....I am having a real day off!!!:-) I have the time to sit here and compose one of my personal rants without interruption. WEHOOOO....

okay, gonna piddle some more, vaccuum, steam clean, wash walls...do my cathartic exercises love the day with all of my heart! Later Gators!!

Has it really been four weeks since the last post?!!!

WOW...time does fly - I really thought that was only when you're having FUN. Hmmmm...not all that much fun lately.

School has been hard; work has been harder. Vehicle troubles are finally behind us and NOW there are four cars parked in our driveway. Everyone has a vehicle of their own to hop in at will. Amy's Dad bought her a 1999 Chevy Blazer (great car in awesome condition). I sold my Ford Five Hundred and bought a BMW. Eve gave the Suburu to Chris so he would have a car of his very own with no notes and reasonable insurance. Which leads us to Eve's new car. Eve just bought a 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited with all the bells and whistles. So...no one has a note, insurance is reasonable, and we all have cars we want...(except Chris who would much rather have a camaro or an eclipse because he prefers a two door car). Finally, there's no need to make arrangements for transportation...we can all get where we need and want to go at any given moment.

Our Foster dog, Precious, is doing very well here. Mister is so obnoxious that he makes it hard for her to find her place - but, aside from the occasional telling each other off...they like each other and share the house like good little doggies. Frodo has some off-limits zones and Precious is okay with that. Toys are a little bit of a problem since Frodo claims ALL toys as his...even the baby's toys. All in all...it's a nice little family.

Chris started college last week and I couldn't be a prouder parent than right now. He loves his classes and will start his clinicals on the 23rd of September. Already, he'll be working as a volunteer at hospitals and fire houses beginning then. It's about time he get it together like this!

All is well with everything else. Getting excited about our friends' committment ceremony this coming weekend. It'll be nice to get to Louisiana for a couple of days.

Getting better by the day

This has been a really good week. Work has gone relatively smoothly and home-life is pretty normal. Chris and Amy do a really good job of keeping the kids out of my office and when they get really whiny or obnoxious...they take them to their part of the house and shut the door. The big kids have the addition part of the house which is two large rooms. The kids have one room and the grown up kids have the other. They both have televisions (although Gage is not one of those kids who can be entertained by a television, nor is Kaleob - they don't care about kids movies at all...just certain commercials. They have laptops, and Xbox, and the babies have lot of toys. It works out very nicely.

The car situation still sucks, but fortunately I work will a nice group of people. I never have to worry whether or not I will have a ride home from work each day. It gets old having to rely on others while my car sits in the parking lot of Infinity Marine waiting for Eve to get off and her car sits in the garage waiting for enough money to fix the clutch, but hey...it could be worse...we could have NO cars and then where would we be?

My job got a little easier this week as one of our co-workers left for another position opening up a table that is more ergonomically correct. It's lower and I don't have to stand up all day to groom.

Today is the first day in a while that felt completely normal. I was off this Sunday, so I woke up early and had my "me" time, then I completed several papers for school...I took a nap, cooked a wonderful Sunday roast...watched a stupid movie...an all around, just lounged around most of the day. It's been awesome and I feel revived and refreshed; ready for the new week to start!

Work, School, and Babies

Started my new job last week. I had forgotten just how physically taxing grooming can be. Wiggly dogs, happy dogs, lazy dogs, ticklish dogs, and worst...biting dogs. I work in a "no-restraint" facility, so I am having to learn to groom a new way. It's a great job though. If a dog is too hard, we don't complete the groom for the safety of the dog and the groomer. There is a full time bathing staff, so I never have to bathe a dog, either. I just cut the hair, and trim the nails. The best part is the flexibility. I must be at work at 7, but I can leave whenever all my dogs are finished. Usually, that's between 12 and 2 and never past 3. My job is less than 5 minutes from the house - WEEEHOOO!!

School starts again today. Multivariate Stats using SPSS and Testing, Assessments, and Measurements - this term. Not so excited about the stats...really glad to be taking the testing session. Last semester was a 4.0 hoping for another one this semester.

Don't think I mentioned that Amy won her custody battle. For the next 45 days - the temporary order has been reversed, and Amy has Gage full time and Royce gets weekend visitation. After the 45 days expires, they go for the final hearing and Amy is awarded domiciliary custody, and child support, and Royce will have standard - non-domiciliary - custody visitation and privileges. Gage lives here full-time, now. He's a joy and a job. Very conversive...very repetitive. It's been a long row to hoe for her...I am glad she's getting what she wanted. Gage needs her and she definitely needs him.

Aside from the constant din of voices, crying, banging, animal chasing, and question after question...things are smooth sailing.

1:00 a.m. texting

Well, I discussed - in my last blog - the friend of Eve's whose alcoholism has made any relationship with him less than tolerable. Finally, Eve is willing to let him go...

This person, who peed on my 1000 dollar mattress, and passed out naked in the guestroom floor left our home on Friday evening seemingly content and ready to get back to his own apartment...We know he's a person who stews over conversations, but WOW...Really?? When he left on Friday, he offered to come back on Sunday to allow Eve to use his truck one more time since my tire wouldn't be in until Monday afternoon and there was a lot of driving to be done on Monday...Amy had her final court appearance for custody...I started my new job...Eve had to go to work - get off early to pick me up so me and the kids could get to Galveston for court...all on a donut. So....We told Eve's friend we would call him on Sunday if we wanted or needed to borrow the truck again. We were just relieved to see him leaving our house!

He calls on Sunday morning and I told him that it just wouldn't work out to use his truck because it only seats two people and three had to get to court...he seemed taken aback by that and later he calls while we are all watching a movie so we don't answer the phone...then, Eve calls him back when the movie is over....OMG...He comes to our house to get his motorcycle, and any of his belongings that have been stored here because he's gotten a storage building for his stuff. GOOD! Come to find out, he is offended that WE don't understand that he is HAPPY just the way he is and instead of telling him that we cannot stand him for even one more night...we're willing to put our family in jeopardy by riding on a donut.

Eve goes with him to the storage building...instead of him loading his bike in his truck and making ONE trip...he's too afraid to use his ramp and tie downs so Eve must go with him and he must bring her back home. So...we thought they had opportunity to work out their friendship on the ride home. This person cannot and will not accept responsibility for his actions...there's always an excuse, which he calls 'reasons' for his inappropriate behaviors. The peeing in the bed is new and cannot be related to his drunkeness...his ADHD cannot be controlled by traditional means of medication...he must take his meds his way..not the doctor's way AND he must drink in order for it to work. He can drive 140 on his motorcyle, but he is careful so no one would be hurt by him...WOW...what a piece of work.

Anyway....he and Eve talked, but he spent the rest of the day stewing about the fact that we cannot allow his drinking in OUR house...what he does at his own home is his business and we have no problem getting together with him there (we can leave if we want). We want him to be happy, but not at our expense. So...apparently, he stewed about that until 1:00 am and started texting us. He went on an on about how he will never meet our standards and how we should want him to be happy and how we should be as happy as him....Eve called him and he had the nerve to be OFFENDED that we were angry about the texts...he didn't realize it would wake up the entire house...he didn't know the ringer was that loud...he was pouring out his heart to us and we had the nerve to be angry with him. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

Anyway...he started calling the house phone, next. I talked - rather tried to talk - but he was too drunk to understand anything. The final words were that if we couldn't handle getting a heartfelt text message at one in the morning then we shouldn't be friends...my response, "okay"...click...

Wish it hadn't ended like that, but then again, can't imagine it ending any other way. Eve was so angry with him she didn't sleep the rest of the night. I know it really hurt her.

Oh well....work is good, money is great. Things are getting back on track. School is progressing nicely and I am getting excited about actually working in my field soon. Love to all...til next time

Finally, a Breather

Hello to all my friends...I haven't written in a while as classes and personal obligations kept me from my musings. Well, kept me from my written musings, at least. Finally,

I have an 8 day break from classes. Wow, I really thought it was more like two weeks - I go back for the second summer session on July 23. It's been a really difficult semester with a total of 73 papers completed in 10 weeks. That's a lot of research and constant writing! Next semester is more technical, so I think there'll be less writing.

My world has been full of housekeeping duties in addition to classes. Not the bucket of pinesol and a capful of bleach cleaning...the kind that mandates a shrug of the shoulders and a deep, heavy, sigh. How do you say goodbye to people who have been a part of your life for a very long time? How do you reconcile the distance between you and them that time and the pursuit of dreams have created? There's no good way. You either stay mired in the muck of the stress the relationship causes or you move forward thankful for opportunity to have had them in your life at all. I move forward - hoping only good things and happiness for them. I have always believed people can only do to you what you allow them to do...I do not allow them to wreak havoc or undue stress in my life anymore.

Eve and I have a friend whose alcoholism has become more than I can bear. He is Eve's dear friend, although I don't really understand why. He and I have nothing in common and every time we see him, he wants a psychotherapist - not a friend. He has been kind to us...helped us when we really needed it, and loaned us his vehicle until my new tires come in (we're on a donut right now). He has been staying here because he's afraid to park his motorcycle at his apartment and that's what he's been using for transportation while Eve uses the truck. Each night when he gets in from work; before a hello, how was your day, or any other pleasantry...it's a beer and a shot of crown. He gets completely inebriated by 9pm. The night before last he got up in the middle of the night after wetting the bed and then passed out naked in the middle of the bedroom floor. Enough is enough. It angers me because of Eve's unwillingness to sever the friendship - or at least lay down the groundrules, I am forced to be an enabler. He's leaving this evening, and I have asked Eve to not allow him to return for overnight visits anymore. She is willing to do that, at least.

So...finally a breather. A new job on Monday, no school for a week, a clean house, and a clean mind. Whew...

Getting over it

Well, finally the house is clear of out of state guests and I can get back to my normal routine around here. It's not that my guests were so bad, they were quiet; didn't demand my presence or require me to entertain them all the time; they didn't eat me out of house and home (other than they were 3 extra mouths-two of whom were growing, adolescent boys); and finally, they did not destroy my antique furniture or put holes in the blow-up mattress. Still, I am so glad to have the house back to its permanent residents.

Everyone would have laughed til they cried had they seen Eve and me with stupid, silly grins the moment the car was emptied and it was just the two of us heading back to our home. Ear to ear, teeth gleaming in the sunlight, huge, unable to stop grins. We wanted to do the happy dance, shout from the rooftops, and call everyone we know with the joyous news! How shallow of us.

Things feel so differently, now. It's more quiet, more relaxed, less stressful, and for me, most importantly - less odors. When there's 8 people pooping in your house there seems to be a constant wafting of offensiveness in the hallway...boys who cannot hit the bowl make for a bad service station restroom - the only thing I didn't have was the key with the office chair chained to it. No matter how often Amy cleaned the bathroom (it is her's and Chris' bathroom while their here)she just couldn't get the smell out. WEEEHOOO, she did it!

We love these people, but if anyone ever needed proof that "guests are like fish...after three days they start to stink" this is it. It will be a very long time (if ever again) that we allow people to come stay with us for an extended period. We made it through without hating them in the end - and that's a good thing. It's taken a full two days just to get over the experience.

So...my friends and family...we have learned a lot about what we will accept from people and just how mature we have gotten over the years. We have practiced tact, hospitality, and graciousness and are much better for it.

A Cathartic approach

Today is housekeeping day and that makes me happy. I get out the bucket, the bleach, the Pine-Sol and all the other cleaning accouterments that make my life seem manageable. Ahhh, sweet joy.

I am so glad Eve understands me. She gets it when I am crabby because I have stepped over the last misplaced item, or moved the coaster to its rightful position for the very last time. She is quick to pick up stuff that she didn't haphazardly throw down. I am fortunate to have the perfect partner.

It's interesting that Chris is so much like me. Father's Day was spent at the water park and he was able to get through the day without his kids pretty easily. We got home and there was a call from the boys on the answering machine. We were all surprised by that. Well, Monday Chris' card arrived with a hand written letter from Dylan. Dylan is the one who is very quick to say that he doesn't like his Dad and doesn't ever want to come visit. The letter said he missed his Dad, loved his Dad, and wanted his Dad to be proud of him for passing the second grade. Chris LOST it. He cried off and on for several hours. Instead of just wallowing, though. Chris went outside and detailed both mine and Eve's car to perfection.

Cleaning is cathartic. It's a mundane task that requires attention and allows you to think deeply about the world, but provides enough distraction to get through the strong emotions of the day. I love to clean!!!!

How much longer????

Today is exactly one month since our guests got to the house. Can you believe that!! Because of finances, they will be staying until July 10...a full two weeks longer than I had anticipated, and truth be told, 3.5 weeks longer than I had originally agreed.

I really don't understand how anyone can think it is okay to descend upon people for such a length of time. They are completely dependent upon us for transportation, food, housing and entertainment. That's not to say they don't make monetary contribution in the form of gasoline and some food, but shoot...my electric bill, water bill, and gas bill will most assuredly be through the roof next month.

Then there's the stress of other people in the house who don't care for it, clean it, or love it the way Eve and I do. My God...how many times do I have to say, "DON'T PUT ANYTHING ON THE ANTIQUE DRESSER, ESPECIALLY THINGS WHICH HAVE LIQUID IN THEM!!!!!!"

Anyway, it'll all be over soon and there's no way in heck Eve and I will ever absent-mindedly agree to allow anyone to come stay for extended periods again.

Fast Track

Graduate school on the fast track is really difficult. I have always prided myself on my ability to efficiently organize my time, but this work is so consuming that the rest of my world seems to suffer the consequences of my absence. I am thrilled to be so close to the end of my academic journey, but sometimes I cannot see how I will get it all done and be knowledgeable about my field. Just insecurities - I really do have an awesome grasp of what I have learned (I did manage to graduate with honors and still have a 3.89 GPA).

Yesterday, I managed to find some time to attend to my friend, Rhonda. She got a mini make-over. We colored her hair, highlighted it, and cut it into a playful, medium length do...it was fun (well, maybe the part where we waxed her eyebrows wasn't so fun for her). Rhonda looks fabulous!! She's a strawberry blonde, so we went a shade darker to honey brown with golden blonde highlights around her face and on the crown of her head. We stacked the back and brought the front to a nice frame around her oval face. Took several years off her appearance. There's pictures posted on my facebook page.

Lately, so many people I care about are having monetary difficulties. I worry for them and for us. Eve and I are, literally, half a paycheck from homelessness. It's a struggle every moment of every day. We worry about the bills coming in and the money going out. We manage though. In the evenings, we sit outside and discuss how we can make sure to keep our heads above water until I finish school. We cut expenses anywhere we can, we don't purchase anything that isn't an absolute necessity, we don't go out, we don't generate any new bills. It's tough, but we know it'll change and we'll be better for the journey. Our financial minds have matured over the last six years, our relationship has become stronger because we have been forced to deal with ugly matters, and our lives are rich and full even without two pennies to rub together.

Sometimes, we get angry with the others in our lives who complain about money troubles, but then buy season passes to SplashTown, or eat out 5-7 times a week, or go on lengthy vacations, or use their credit cards for wants and beg their creditors for extra time to pay for their needs. Everyone is different - I know that - some people have to hit the bottom before they appreciate the climb or remember the struggle.

Guess, I have gone on long enough. Back to studying and writing.

Baby Viruses

Well, we have made it through another weekend. Gage is here to visit until Tuesday. His birthday was on Saturday and we had twenty people here. Amy's little brothers (6,8,10) stayed over Friday and Saturday...that made for seven children ages 8 months to 14 years old yelling, burping, laughing, jumping, dancing, singing, fussing, arguing, in and out, in OR out!!!!, sleeping, and snoring...in every available blow up mattress, sleeper sofa bed, and day bed this house possesses. Well...On Saturday night...Friday night the kids camped in the back yard. They pitched our big 8 man tent and dove in. We peeked out there and they were sitting up playing games..Chris was going to wear a Halloween mask and scare the living daylights out of them; but, we opted to make it a nice and safe place..didn't want them all rushing back into the house screaming about monsters and needing their Mommies.
The birthday party was Amy's first ever attempt at hostessing. She did a really good job preparing for the party and making sure she covered all the bases concerning food, drink, appetizers, etc. She also did a good job of being hostess. It's a hard balance to mingle and partake in the party while you're also stressing about food. One major gufaw...never leave the party for supplies once it has begun...SEND SOMEONE ELSE. Amy left with her Mom to go get cheese or something. Next party that won't happen.
Kaleob has a virus. Apparently, there's something goin around that is only affecting small children. High fever is the only outward symptom. Chris and Amy took both boys to the emergency room, after speaking to their primary care physician, to be checked out and have lungs listened to. All clear...tylenol..cool baths. Again, Sunday night, back to the emergency room with Kaleob. Unable to stay awake all day...fever spike to 105.1 three times. More cool baths, switch every two hours between motrin and tylenol..try, try, try to get the baby to take liquids. It's the hardest thing in the world to not be able to do anything for a sick baby.
This morning, he's better. Still running fever, but smiling and happy. We have a wet washrag on his head...started doing that yesterday. Alcohol wipe downs, cool baths, and the washcloth...he looks so cute.
I have a five page paper due on Tuesday, so I'll be working on it for the next couple of days. Not stressing...just a reaction paper.
Worried for my sister in-law and her family. They're going through some really tough times with their business. I know it'll all be fine in the end. They'll make it through and come out stronger at the end of the day. They're in my prayers.
Love to all! Many thanks to all those who served in the military and continue to serve so that I have the freedoms I have today.

What a ride!

Driving to Louisiana on Thursday cost more than a few tanks of gas. On the way home we had a blowout on the rear passenger tire in Eve's car...85$ to replace the tire, rotate and balance the rest. Lost wages for two days (since we didn't get home until 6:30 am and Eve couldn't make it to work on Friday) 220$. Six tanks of gas (4 to get there and back and two to have gas for the rest of week upon return) 240$ and dinner at IHOP after graduation 35$ It's no wonder that people think money drops out of mine and Eve's rear end....we find the means to do what we need to do at our own expense and with no regard from others. Hmph...685$ to make that trip and bring Rhonda and the boys home with us. UNBELIEVABLE - yet Eve and I continue to do those kinds of things...

Am I complaining? I know I am, but sometimes I just have to write it all down to get a handle on why I am stressed out and feeling used. I am firm believer in the fact that people can only do to you what you allow them to do...I allowed...we allowed ourselves to be put into the position we're in. We never go out to eat, never get to the movies...never purchase anything new that isn't a necessity....we pay our bills a month in arrears and only enough to avoid disconnection...all so we Chris, Amy, and the babies have a place to stay...all so our friends can have a place to visit....all so we can occasionally drive to Louisiana to see the people we love.

Oh...enough of that...this too shall pass. We'll be fine once I am through with school and start to practice. It's the people and the passion we have for life that makes all of this hard work worthwhile. Every once in a while I feel the need to whine and complain about how hard this is....I have a home, I have food, I have the people I love...It could always be worse.

Getting it all in order

Well, the visitors arrive in approximately 30 hours. I have a list of things needing to be done before the houseguests make it next to impossible to complete mundane tasks. Most of them have been completed. House chores, mowing and weedeating, cleaning out the pantry and the fridge, making space for extra people's clothing and toiletries...it's a lot to think about and I am sure I have forgotten something really important, but oh well, it's just friends coming...

Tomorrow we are heading to West Monroe, Louisiana to attend J.J.'s high school graduation. We're so proud of his accomplishment - there was grave concern he would not make it. Once the ceremony is over, we will eat at one of the two establishments open after 9pm...IHOP or Waffle House (WEEEHOOOO...I love eggs and bacon!!). Then it's over to Rhonda's to load the suitcases and people and head back to Kingwood. We won't be home before 4am. We could opt to spend the night and leave first thing in the morning, but Eve has to be at work on Friday....she'll be sleeping on the 6.0 hour drive home.

Gage's birthday party has been changed to the following weekend. That works out better all around. People who couldn't come because of work are off that weekend. AND...Gage's birthday is actually on the day of the party. It's a luau theme...the kids should love the bright colors and, of course, the grown ups always like the tropical feel. I am making a TIkiMan cake...will post some photos when it's done.

Today, I am finishing the final paper for my transtheoretical methods class. I will be bringing lots of reading to do while we're on the trip tomorrow and be ready to write over the weekend for Tuesday submission. Busy as usual.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Have you ever felt hungry, loaded your plate, and then realized your eyes were bigger than your stomach? Umm Hmm, I know you have...we have all done that at least once. Well, let me tell you...I have loaded my proverbial plate and am looking for a salad plate to stop my stuff from touching.

I started my new semester before the old semester finished...Really, is that possible in anyone else's world? Now I am finishing final papers while I acclimate to new classes and beginning of session reading assignments.

I started a new job and fortunately my boss is in London this week, so I am not needed in the office...whew, I was worried about getting the final paper completed while working. I like my job - an executive assistant to a large Oil and Gas trading company Vice President. The pay is AWESOME, and that really does make it worthwhile.

J.J. graduates from high school this Thursday and we're taking two cars to West Monroe on Thursday so we can get Rhonda and the boys back to Kingwood with us. That's two trips to Louisiana in six days. My friends from Louisiana are coming to visit for a month and they will be here this Thursday. I am excited and trepidatious all at the same time. When people visit for more than a couple of days...they sort of move in with you....there's moods, and idiosyncrasies, not to mention, adolescent angst with too long showers invading my routine.

Gage's birthday party is this Saturday and there will be around 20 people in my backyard and milling about my house for several hours....wow.

So...my plate is full, my cup runneth over...wish me luck and remind me to breathe.

Waiting around

I am sitting in the classroom 1.5 hours before the session begins because I had to meet with professor and rather than drive all the way back to Kingwood; I decided to hang out here.

Wow, it's quiet! The type of institutional quiet that makes a person so sleepy. I could really use a nap right about now.

I walked over to Einstein Brothers for a cup of coffee and while on my way, I looked at all of the students I passed along the way. Which one of them will be famous later in life? What are the odds that one of them will develop schizophrenia within the next couple of years? Who will get their degree and not be able to find a job? Today's economy is making the Bachelor's Degree about as useful as a high school diploma was 15 years ago.

All these kids look so intent...immersed in their studies...making good grades. Sure, you see the occasional party guy...probably with an Einstein IQ...chasing down his buddies on the path, but for the most part...these people are making a difference in their life and the lives of all who encounter them.

I have to wonder what I would have been like had I gone straight from High school into a four year college. Would I have been participant in sorority life, and football games. Probably not...I am a loner by nature. I would have been as studious then as now.

Guess I am going to go...class will start in 25 minutes...weehooo...it's been a long Monday already.

ahhhh...

You know...when I am stressed out, I clean. It's my exercise in control. Everyone who knows me, knows I am a "clean freak"...nothing out of order, things always in their place...dust smells...It's the only thing I can truly control in life.

I spent the last two days rearranging three rooms. I moved the big kids bedroom to the old office area. They're happier because they are in the room with the air conditioner. I made their old room the little kids rooms...wide open with space to play and a table for games, a television, and lots of interesting things on the walls. I made the small guest room my office and I cannot begin to tell you how nice it is to have a completely private room for my computer, television and treadmill.

After all the moving around, I put a few things in the attic. Just some boxes of books I don't want to get rid of and some office accouterments I don't need right now. Then, I thoroughly cleaned the rooms. It just feels better. Better energy...better Feng Shui.

Next on my list is to rearrange the kitchen cabinets. With extra people in the house, things get put away in places I would never have thought to place them. There IS method to my madness and lately...it's just madness. Wish me luck in that endeavor.

Today, Amy and Chris went to UTDB in the medical center. Amy has an impacted wisdom tooth. I have baby duty. It's interesting how differently Kaleob acts when I am the caregiver. He has not cried at all this morning. Usually, he's a little cry baby. I managed to get all the laundry done, folded, and put away without having to stop and console him. It's been a really nice time to bond and play. He's napping now.

I feel so normal and in control today. I have been practicing my de-stress regimen lately and life is easier to face. I only have two weeks of school left and I am really excited about that.

Spring Cleaning

Good Morning!! I cannot believe that school is almost out for the summer. I am so glad because burn out is fast approaching. My brain feels like mush and with all the family dilemma over the last few weeks, I am desperately in need of some time off.

My friends from Louisiana are coming to stay for a month. I am excited! Yes, I realize that a month is a long time and by then end I hope our friendship is stronger than it is today. That's almost like letting someone move in with you...WOW...I already have a full house. Still, I think we'll have fun and it will be nice to be able to help shape A.J and R.J.'s exposure to something more than a tiny little town with limited resources. Here they'll be close enough to the beach to create lifelong memories. They love the museum and will be able to go pretty often. There's a community pool in our neighborhood and we have a big yard for them to have fun in. The boys are 15 and 13 so the trails in our area will provide them with hours of walking and collecting. Rhonda needs some time to do things that don't involve taking care of others. Maybe she'll have fun window shopping or meeting new friends. She needs the vacation and I am glad she has a place to go.

I am intent upon some additional spring cleaning. Today I am starting the task of rearranging three rooms. I want to create some more functional space, so I am making the office smaller by moving it to the little guest room. Moving the kids to the office space, which is one of the largest rooms in the house, and putting the children in Chris and Amy's old room. That's a whole lot of furniture and stuff to move around.

Guess I am going to sign off and get started on the project. Ponytail, big t-shirt, comfy shorts...I am ready and raring to go!!!

Slowing it down

Had a brief, albeit profound conversation last night with Eve and Little Chris. The discussion reminded me how far my own advices I have travelled over the last six years. I am writing this morning in hopes of reminding myself and others about how to de-stress and stay energized in the toughest of situations.

The first thing I forgot is that I am connected to everything on this planet. I am the energy of God and He has determined the best course of action for me. I have to be self-aware and open to opportunity no matter how strange the opportunity appears to be. "All things work for the good of those who love the Lord"...key word being ALL. Even when something is uncomfortable - it is a chance to grow, learn, improve, and at some point I will be able to look back and see its positive effect on my life.

The next thing I forgot is that it is my responsibility to de-stress every day. I used to spend a few minutes before going to sleep imagining my mind as an attic. I would visually walk through it and put things in order...spruce up any messes...categorize the unknown into small, manageable files and finally, open at least one new "door" each night. It's amazing how cathartic that process is. I haven't done it in years, and I believe that's why things seems so big now. My attic is just full of junk I have tossed up there - all willy nilly - over the last six years.

Finally, I was reminded that I have absolutely no control over anything or anyone except me and my reactions to those things or people. I can choose to lose sight of the big plan or move forward as a positive influence in the grand scheme of things. My job is to love God, myself, and others. Aside from that, I am not the savior or the scapegoat.

So...here's my checklist for successfull, stress reduced, life:

1. Wake each morning with thanksgiving for another opportunity to be a better person.
2. Do at least one thing for someone else today.
3. Remember to treat myself kindly.
4. Be honest, hopeful, helpful, and hard-working.
5. Laugh at something.
6 Hum or sing a tune.
7. Listen to the sounds of life and enjoy the melody whether it's birds chirping, cars passing, fans blowing....
8. Chew my food, taste the spices, appreciate the meal.
9. Walk, run, move!
10. Visit the attic every single night. Make repairs, put things away, and dust off the shelves. Sleep
Tomorrow - repeat!

Dysfunctional^2

It never ceases to amaze me how much control parents have over the emotional well being of their children. I lived in my parent's home for thirteen and a half years of my forty-six years of life. That's not that long, yet everything I think and do is directly related to the teachings, thoughts, and fears of those family ties.

My brother was in a motorcycle accident last weekend. The key word here, is accident! Should he have been more careful than to ride in the rain...it wasn't raining when he started out that evening. Is he a magnet for unfortunate incidences...that's an understatement - to say the least!

I posted about my parent's bad behavior upon first notice of the accident. Dad angrily assuming Chris expected him to pay for hospitalization or medical expenses. Mom's first reaction was anger that Chris was on a motorcycle again. Tim, as ever, relatively silent in regard to the situation. Me...well, I am definitely one to speak my mind...yelled at my parents for their inappropriate behavior. I called Chris to see how he was and what the prognosis was...Dad wants the phone because he NEEDS his keys to get into the new "old" house - not to make sure his son is faring well. Not one family member went to visit Chris while he was in Scott & White - No excuse for me not going either...no extra money, no gas...kids had my car and didn't return with it as I requested...still...he's my brother and I should have gotten there and camped out in his room. I am ashamed of myself, too.

So...I drove to Temple on Tuesday to bring Chris home from the hospital. He looked rough, but alive and on the mend. We get back to the ranch and Dad has medication for Chris. It's a mild pain reliever. Well, Chris spent an extra day in the hospital because they were trying to find a medication that worked...Narco was the only one and Dad refuses to get that drug because he's afraid of addiction. Well, yes, that's a possibility; however, the strong medication is necessary to keep Chris comfortable and reduce movements which may keep him from healing properly. I am livid, but cannot afford to go get the proper medication for Chris.

Yesterday, Dad calls and wants me to call Todd. It's wrong that Todd took all of Chris' money, but then again...Chris' accident cost Todd over 10, 000.00 because the bike had no insurance on it. I see both sides of the coin. Todd could've at least offered to get Chris' script. Anyway....Dad is angry with Todd, angry with Chris, and to add insult to injury, angry with CHris' girlfriend, Lauren, because one of her dogs bit NancyLee. All this to say...Dad kicked Chris out yesterday. He said it was just too much stress.

My brother...unable to work right now, no money, and nowhere to go. Talk about a kick in the teeth. Where is the conscience in hurting someone you say you love without measure. It took a year and a half of me interfering just to get Chris to be willing to re-associate with his family. Dad tore that down in one fail swoop. Chris thinks that it's me who meddled so much as to get Dad to kick him out.

I am sickened by this latest turn of events and wondering if it makes me just like Mom and Dad when I say that I think I have had enough. Wondering if I am a horrible person for thinking I should keep my distance - send cards and well wishes - but stop attending lunch bunch or family functions. NancyLee said she had never seen a man look so broken and it breaks my heart to think my little brother (so what that he's 45) thrown out like yesterday's paper.

I love my family in spite of all their failures and frailties...why can't they be more loving and open? Oh well...that's the way it is, and just the way it's always been. I have tried to keep us together...I have failed miserably.

It just wouldn't be normal

Friday's housekeeping and work went smoothly and the fresh smells of printer ink on a completed research paper, PineSol with a smidge of bleach, Gain infused Downy on clean sheets, System Biologe shampoo and conditioner mixed with BeautiControl Sea scrub and finally, garlic and onion roasted chicken permeated the rooms of my house and lightened my heart with the spirit of accomplishment. Aha, but just when I think everything is in order, I find out that the energies of life deem drama as the mainstay of my existence.

Saturday is Lunch Bunch for me, Dad, Mom, and Tim. We meet at Kenny & Ziggys in the Galleria and eat Turkey Pastrami and Turkey while we discuss politics, the movies we've seen, the week's events, and upcoming plans. It's a great time to enjoy each other and keep up with each other's lives. More casual than a family gathering, this time is more like a friendship circle without the stressors of being on best behavior and appropriately dressed for dinner. I enjoy this Saturday ritual even though there are times when the conversations become heated or the topics are a tad boring.

This Saturday started out as usual. Gabbing and laughing. I brought everyone a list of unclaimed moneys I had found. I knew if I merely told them about the opportunity they would have been interested, but never followed through. Dad has over a thousand dollars in unclaimed funds! Mom has money, but doesn't want to take the time to claim it...she thinks it's too much trouble for 52.17. I think that the money is hers and she should get it...Dad took the sheet with her information and will probably have Joyce check it out.

Lately our meetings are a little strained because Mom is angry with me about something. She hasn't told me what it is, but then again, I haven't asked. For the last three or four months Mom has found every opportunity to speak derrogatively about me and refuses to say I love you back when I tell her I love her. When the incident with Frodo happened my Mother told me that she found it difficult to love me even though she tries (I am okay with it as much as anyone can be...this is the same woman who told me that if she could do it all over again, she would not have adopted ME and the same person who refused to speak to me or her grandson for fifteen years). I love her and that's all that matters - really. She'll either get over this perception of wrongdoing I have done, or she will tell my what's eating at her.

As we were about to leave the restaurant, Dad received a phone call from Chris. He had a motorcycle wreck Friday evening and found out on Saturday that he broke three vertebrae (One in his neck and two in his upper back). Initially, we didn't know how serious the injury was. Dad's first remark was about his assumption that Chris' assumption was that since Chris is uninsured, there is expectation of money. Mom's first reaction was to say that Chris was completely irresponsible and should have known better than to ride a motorcyle. I lost my mind and yelled at my PARENTS!. First and foremost...neither I nor my brother think our parents will pay for anything...we're in our forties - secondly, my brother is a biker..the truest kind...wind in the face, freedom of the open road, Harley Davidson, ape hanger holding... biker. Anyone who lives to ride feels the same way..."it's not a matter of 'if' you will wreck, it's a matter of 'when'". Stuff happens! I think the rents were surprised by my vehemence.

Chris was transferred from Brenham to Temple to be seen by a neurosurgeon. Temple is 167 miles from me, but apparently, I am the only one concernced with going to visit him and make sure he has what he needs. That makes me mad. As a parent...I don't care how inconsequential a hospitalization seems...I would be there for my son no matter how far or how inconvenient. The kids have my car with them in Somerville, so I will be going today when they get back. Surgery is not necessary and it appears Chris will be released tomorrow. I'll camp out in his room and then we'll leave as soon as he's released.

Today's post is merely a ranting. No pretty or flowery words, just facts. I could write pages and pages about the dynamics of my dysfunctional family. As cathartic as that may be, now is not the time. So, while my house is in order, the pscyhodrama of my relationships is once again in turmoil. It just wouldn't be normal if there wasn't some weirdness on my plate.

Thinking Out Loud

Good Morning all,

Today and for the rest of the weekend the kids are visiting Lake Sommerville to spend time with Chris' Dad and Aunt Sandra. They left last night - happy, and excited. I managed to be the perfect mother calling out just the right number of, "did you remember to pack..., do you have enough..., what about the sunblock, don't forget to take the phone", all the while leaping and cartwheeling in my mind with sheer joy! Freedom! Weehoo!

So - I am sitting here at my desk - coffee cup to the left; Good Morning America to the right; three open tabs in the Explorer and faithful Mr. Frodo napping in his bed (three feet from my desk). Eve and Skyped our, "Good morning" greetings and I am ready to begin a day of paper writing, APA revisions to the Laerd website, ethnography transcription, and math homework. Wow, sounds like a lot, but really it's not as much as some days.

Most likely, I will not complete everything today, but that's okay...it'll wait. My thoughts wander to recent conversations about politics, religion, food, Ghost Adventures, and I am having fun recalling the funny and/or interesting interjections made by all the participants - including myself. This is how I clear my mind - get myself ready for the "work" that must be done.

Last night Eve and I discussed politics. A tricky conversation even for people who share similiar positions. We discussed, and listened to each other's opinions of the current state of affairs in this country we love. I made some remarks that would, most definitely, get me kicked out of a party post haste. I do not agree with most of our president's decisions for America, but I think everyone has lost a healthy perspective on the situation. People are saying that Barak will turn out to be our worst president EVER...I postulate that just like any other polarizing leader, he will be known to our children's children as a groundbreaker and brave leader who changed our country forever. Lincoln's presidency and platform brought Civil War and I imagine the people of that era thought he would go down in history as the worst president EVER. One hundred and twleve years later I would sit in Ms. Flysowki's Social Studies class and be honored to come from a place where people like Abraham Lincoln could stand against the masses and bring about change. Are you shocked? I am not surprised. I am not saying that Obama is Lincoln - I am saying that one hundred years from now - he will be taught about in classrooms.

Well, I suppose it's actually time to get to work and put aside all this self-indulgent rhetoric. I am hoping everyone spends a few minutes a day thinking out loud, laughing at themselves, and most importantly - getting outside the box! Later gators...

The Noisy Quiet

Awakend this morning to a light, misty rain and thought to myself...ummmm, I should stay in bed and sleep some more. Alas, I cannot do that - when my eyes open - I am awake and ready for the day. So Day; here we go!

The house is quiet for the most part. I hear fans going in different rooms - a sound I cannot stand. Eve turns the fan on because she has tinitus (at least she says that's the reason there must be a fan and a television on at all times), and the kids have two fans blowing into their room (which has entry from my office) since there is no central air in the addition - only a window unit. I think we all know how loud a window unit can be. The news is on, and the CPU of my desktop is softly humming its song of toil (hehehe, do I hear a hi ho, hi ho coming from under my desk?). All is normal in this full house of mine.

In a couple of hours the baby will wake. He'll cry and be completely obnoxious for a short time. The kids will stir and the television in the den will blurt out its daily information - I can almost hear Mike Rowe's voiceover this very second. I will hear the refrigerator open, the microwave ding, the garage door squeak, the water flowing through the pipes and into the guest bathroom and finally, my dog friend - Little Mr. Frodo Baggins - will perform his chirpy aria for someone or something which stirred him from his slumber three feet from my desk.

Does it sound cacophanous to you? I suppose for some, like my mother - for example - the din would be torcherous; but for me...it's just a day in the life. I cannot imagine a house so quiet that pins dropping or mice attending church services would startle me. Too much silence and I would be left singing for my own entertainment and trust me...no one wants that to happen. I think I would start to make up sounds and drive myself nuts trying to figure who or what is in my home and why in the world they would come from nightmarish worlds or alien planets just to spy on my daily goings on.

All the sounds in this residence remind me of the family I adore (most of the time), and the fullness of life I experience each moment of my life. So, in the future, if you hear me complain about the noise or whine about the need for solitude just remind me of this post - I love my life and the people in it! I like the noisy quiet of the early morning on Forest Bluff Dr.