Well...if I ever needed confirmation that I have been pursuing the correct degree; I finally know for sure. I am!! Yesterday was my first training session at the counseling center. I spent 10 hours learning what kind of clients we serve and what services we provide. It was so encouraging to know that I knew so much about the different topics. Ya know...I sometimes wonder if my "book smarts" would be enough toward the practical application of professional psychology. Apparently, I DID learn everything I was supposed to learn. weeehoooo!!!!
I am so excited. Last week was an extremely emotional week for me, and I just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. Sure, we're having financial difficulties; of course, there's a guest in our home (AGAIN); I am in the last two weeks of classes (that's always stressful). Still, I am a relatively non-emotional person (at least outwardly) and I was crying at the drop of a maxwell house commercial. Eve and I talked about it on Friday evening...I think it was relief. The fruition of something I want so much. The beginning of my life (that's how it feels).
My emotions reminded me of the year I wanted an aquarium. I dropped subtle (mom said they weren't so subtle) hints by bringing books home from the library, and talking incessantly about what I learned about fish, and aquariums for nine months. Well, I just knew I was going to get one for my birthday. My parents made it such a special day. They took me out to dinner and Connie attended. I received the most beautiful gifts and had one of the best dinners in my short 12 years of life. I remember that Connie's attendance made such an impact and made me feel SOOOOOO special. BUT...no aquarium. I received a beautiful necklace from Connie, and a bottle of Channel # 19 from Chris. Mom and Dad gave me a great card and a ring. It was a jewelry and perfume evening...what more could any girl ask for???? An aquarium, of course. I assumed I had not given the proper hints and that I would try harder so I would receive the aquarium for Christmas. I was not sad, but I was disappointed with myself for not making my desires more clear. So, we left the restaurant (wish I could remember the name of it - it was located in the hotel across from Wieners and the grocery store on the hill by the 290 & hwy 36 intersection). Anyway, we got back to our house and I headed to my bedroom to get ready for bed. I walk in, and there it was - set up, filled with fish - my aquarium! Mom and Dad had the ranch manager come in and set it up while we were gone to dinner. I cried, I cried, I cried...
That is how I felt yesterday...I did it, I have arrived, I will finally do something that makes me feel fulfilled. Oh, I know I still have three years left until I can say, "That's Dr. Andersen", but right now...I am a counselor. I am going to help people help themselves. For as long as I can remember, this is what I have wanted to do...I first realized I wanted to be a psychologist the same year I got my aquarium..weird, huh. The road to this place has been winding to say the least, but at least I continued to walk...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Almost done
Well, this semester is almost over and I am down to my last three classes, plus my comprehensive exam. It's been a long haul, to say the least. Once I finish my Master's, I will have five weeks before starting my PhD. Then...it's only three years. I am so excited.
I will start seeing clients in a couple of weeks. That has me excited, too. I will only be case manager at the Montrose Counseling Center, but it's a start. Everyone has to start at the bottom, so I am thrilled just to have the experience.
Things are going pretty good, here. Melvin is a good house guest (better than we have ever had). He's very neat, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, respects our space and our 'territorialism'. He found a car and we're excited for him. Our rules have always been that you have to have a job within two weeks of moving in, and you have to arrange for your own transportation. Well, Melvin got a car on Monday, and today he is going for a second interview at Pizza Hut. He also has a friend who is the manager at the local Kentucky Fried Chicken, so he's going there to seek employment, too. I think he will get his life back together quite nicely. His magic move-out date is September 10, 2011. That's enough time to save enough money for a small apartment and the deposits. We want Melvin to experience the independence that he lost as his family shunned him when he came out. He's spent the last five years couch surfing, job surfing, and that has taken a toll on his self-confidence. We're hoping this experience will encourage him and give him the tools to thrive again.
On Tuesday I posted an ad in the Kingwood paper to give Clark G. away. He's so active, a little aggressive, and Frodo was scared of him. Tuesday evening a lovely couple and their 13 or 14 year old son came to meet Clark and they fell in love with him. They took him home with them and the woman called me three times the next day to find out if Clark was housebroken (Yes, but we have a doggie door - he doesn't know how to ask to go out), if he is crate trained (we tried, we failed), and if he's ever been left alone (yes, and he did fine). Well, yesterday, after about 30 hours of having Clark, the family brought him back to us. Apparently, he destroyed shoes, hats, DVDs, and pottied all over their house. I think it was separation anxiety because he's never been terribly destructive. He does the normal puppy stuff like stealing my slippers, or chewing things that he shouldn't, but he's never chewed up the DVDs (and he has access to them). Anyway...I must assume that he is meant to live with us. He is happy, Eddie is happy, and Frodo doesn't act afraid of him now. We love him very much and it was so hard to give him away...guess we weren't supposed to.
So...guess I have carried on long enough. Sometimes I don't have anything important to talk about..just the need to talk. Thanks for listening....
I will start seeing clients in a couple of weeks. That has me excited, too. I will only be case manager at the Montrose Counseling Center, but it's a start. Everyone has to start at the bottom, so I am thrilled just to have the experience.
Things are going pretty good, here. Melvin is a good house guest (better than we have ever had). He's very neat, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, respects our space and our 'territorialism'. He found a car and we're excited for him. Our rules have always been that you have to have a job within two weeks of moving in, and you have to arrange for your own transportation. Well, Melvin got a car on Monday, and today he is going for a second interview at Pizza Hut. He also has a friend who is the manager at the local Kentucky Fried Chicken, so he's going there to seek employment, too. I think he will get his life back together quite nicely. His magic move-out date is September 10, 2011. That's enough time to save enough money for a small apartment and the deposits. We want Melvin to experience the independence that he lost as his family shunned him when he came out. He's spent the last five years couch surfing, job surfing, and that has taken a toll on his self-confidence. We're hoping this experience will encourage him and give him the tools to thrive again.
On Tuesday I posted an ad in the Kingwood paper to give Clark G. away. He's so active, a little aggressive, and Frodo was scared of him. Tuesday evening a lovely couple and their 13 or 14 year old son came to meet Clark and they fell in love with him. They took him home with them and the woman called me three times the next day to find out if Clark was housebroken (Yes, but we have a doggie door - he doesn't know how to ask to go out), if he is crate trained (we tried, we failed), and if he's ever been left alone (yes, and he did fine). Well, yesterday, after about 30 hours of having Clark, the family brought him back to us. Apparently, he destroyed shoes, hats, DVDs, and pottied all over their house. I think it was separation anxiety because he's never been terribly destructive. He does the normal puppy stuff like stealing my slippers, or chewing things that he shouldn't, but he's never chewed up the DVDs (and he has access to them). Anyway...I must assume that he is meant to live with us. He is happy, Eddie is happy, and Frodo doesn't act afraid of him now. We love him very much and it was so hard to give him away...guess we weren't supposed to.
So...guess I have carried on long enough. Sometimes I don't have anything important to talk about..just the need to talk. Thanks for listening....
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What a weird house we live in
I have been so excited to have the house to ourselves, lately. Well, all of that is about to change (really, it's already changed).
Chucky has been visiting for a week. That's cool...he's Eve's friend, very quiet, never demanding, easy-going, yadda yadda yadda...But...I am sure he is bored out of his skull. When I asked Eve why she decided to have him come for the week, she said she hadn't really thought it through. Duh...She's gone all day and I am left to entertain, look after (because we know Chucky needs a modicum of looking after), and cook for guests.
On top of that...Melvin asked if he could live with us. I have issues here...Eve and I talked about it (He asked us two weeks ago) and we would never let anyone we know be homeless. Melvin's current place of residence has issued the ultimatum of Feb.29th as the last date he can stay there.
Not even sure what I want to rant about...people can only do to you what you allow them to do... Okay...the kids moved out on a Saturday and Melvin called as we were pulling into the driveway of our EMPTY house for the first time in 15 months...Eve went and picked him up and he spent the entire weekend with us. Then, we had 10 days of no one here...Melvin called, and came to visit for 4 days...Went to pick up Chucky...Melvin home on Sunday...Chucky still here...Melvin calls on Tuesday....Now...Four people here...WTF
Again, no one can do to you what you refuse to allow...so we allow this. But why? I think this time I am frustrated because I didn't want to allow anyone to come live with us, but Eve and I agree that we won't let someone be homeless...He IS our friend and he needs a leg up...Guess when we have the big pow wow (after Eve takes Chuck home), we'll decide how long he has (What is his magic move-out date), and what his responsibilities are to the household. We have NEVER allowed anyone to live with us rent free...Even my brother and my son had to pay rent and provide food.
Oh well...enough for now...I am sure I will rant often about this situation.
Chucky has been visiting for a week. That's cool...he's Eve's friend, very quiet, never demanding, easy-going, yadda yadda yadda...But...I am sure he is bored out of his skull. When I asked Eve why she decided to have him come for the week, she said she hadn't really thought it through. Duh...She's gone all day and I am left to entertain, look after (because we know Chucky needs a modicum of looking after), and cook for guests.
On top of that...Melvin asked if he could live with us. I have issues here...Eve and I talked about it (He asked us two weeks ago) and we would never let anyone we know be homeless. Melvin's current place of residence has issued the ultimatum of Feb.29th as the last date he can stay there.
Not even sure what I want to rant about...people can only do to you what you allow them to do... Okay...the kids moved out on a Saturday and Melvin called as we were pulling into the driveway of our EMPTY house for the first time in 15 months...Eve went and picked him up and he spent the entire weekend with us. Then, we had 10 days of no one here...Melvin called, and came to visit for 4 days...Went to pick up Chucky...Melvin home on Sunday...Chucky still here...Melvin calls on Tuesday....Now...Four people here...WTF
Again, no one can do to you what you refuse to allow...so we allow this. But why? I think this time I am frustrated because I didn't want to allow anyone to come live with us, but Eve and I agree that we won't let someone be homeless...He IS our friend and he needs a leg up...Guess when we have the big pow wow (after Eve takes Chuck home), we'll decide how long he has (What is his magic move-out date), and what his responsibilities are to the household. We have NEVER allowed anyone to live with us rent free...Even my brother and my son had to pay rent and provide food.
Oh well...enough for now...I am sure I will rant often about this situation.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Finally - my field
Well...I am a happy camper today. I just got a job as a crisis intervention counselor and a case manager for the Montrose Counseling Center in Houston. I have to work the first 16 weeks as a volunteer and then I get to go on the payroll. I am so excited to have this opportunity.
One of the most exciting things about this is that they are currently developing a new program which matches my career interest in GID communities and transgender youth. I will come in on the ground floor of counseling for this population. WEEEHOOO.
This is such a great opportunity for me to apply my education, passion, and love for the LGBT community in a way that I only dreamed would be possible. I am just HAPPY...can you tell?
One of the most exciting things about this is that they are currently developing a new program which matches my career interest in GID communities and transgender youth. I will come in on the ground floor of counseling for this population. WEEEHOOO.
This is such a great opportunity for me to apply my education, passion, and love for the LGBT community in a way that I only dreamed would be possible. I am just HAPPY...can you tell?
Monday, February 7, 2011
The letter
Well good Monday morning! Thought I would take a few moments of my day to clear my mind (and heart) of some heaviness.
Yesterday I received an email from Dad. He is always well-intended, but his letters always attack my character in some way. It is a wonder I have any self-esteem, at all. Finally, my collegiate track is right on target with the hopes he has for me. Dad made a compliment sandwich out of my pursuit of a PhD. He's finally proud of my accomplishments and said so in the beginning and the end of the letter. WOW...
On to the meat of the letter...I lack style. My 'package' does not adequately represent the unique and qualified person I am. Dad went as far as to say that I look like an unmade bed. I was critiqued for my wild hair (which I have heard my entire life), my weight (again, I have heard this my entire life), my choice in clothing, and my inability to help shape the lives of those closest to me (Eve and Chris' weight and lack of motivation). Dad vacillated between my looking like an unmade bed, a 1960's hippie, and a 65 year old woman in a sack dress. That's encouraging - don't ya think?
I agree that I could make changes to my appearance that make me look younger, more professional, less quirky, but what do those changes mean. Nothing, really. I like my crazy wild hair and it has taken a very long time for me to learn how to care for it properly. It's frizzy, huge, and getting grayer as I write. A short hairstyle doesn't make me feel pretty, and a medium hair cut is way too much work. Long is easy. I get out of the shower, pull out the tangles, add some mousse and I am ready to go. If I need to look more professional, a nice updo is all that's necessary.
As for my clothing, well...I have what I can afford to have. I own many beautiful pieces, but a lot of my clothes are comfortable and what I need for sitting at my desk researching and writing papers. Case in point...right now I am in my jammy bottoms and a t-shirt, but at lunch bunch on Saturday I was wearing a simple white, collared, shirt under a simple cable knit Ralph Lauren sweater. I had on Ralph Lauren jeans and white tennies. My hair was clean and down. My makeup was minimal, but it was there (I don't wear mascara because it really bothers my dry eye syndrome). I had my small Dooney and Bourke purse with me. Now, how is that an unmade bed? Everything was cleaned, pressed, and fit together nicely. I also had on a beautiful pair of earrings that Tricha bought for me a few Christmas' ago, and one, small, diamond and sapphire pinky ring. Hmmmmm....Not sure what I could have done differently other than to have dressed to the nines and looked ready for a meeting instead of a family gathering at a local restaurant.
I hate how this makes me feel. Oh, intellectually, I realize that I am okay and I look appropriate in any setting, but geez....when you're Daddy thinks you look ugly or unkempt, it's hard to get past the feeling. I AM overweight. I don't try hard enough to get the weight off, either. I could exercise like a mad woman, cut out anything that isn't low calorie, and get to a gym everyday (but without the money for dues, I am stuck with my own work-out program). I could get more modern clothing (here again, without the funds to shop for new clothing, I am stuck trying to modernize the clothing I own). I could be more demanding of Eve and Chris, but why...they are comfortable with who they are, and THAT is what I love most about them.
All in all, I will make some changes to my appearance as I become more enmeshed in the professional world, but for right now...I do what I can with what I have. Thanks for letting me rant and rave.
Yesterday I received an email from Dad. He is always well-intended, but his letters always attack my character in some way. It is a wonder I have any self-esteem, at all. Finally, my collegiate track is right on target with the hopes he has for me. Dad made a compliment sandwich out of my pursuit of a PhD. He's finally proud of my accomplishments and said so in the beginning and the end of the letter. WOW...
On to the meat of the letter...I lack style. My 'package' does not adequately represent the unique and qualified person I am. Dad went as far as to say that I look like an unmade bed. I was critiqued for my wild hair (which I have heard my entire life), my weight (again, I have heard this my entire life), my choice in clothing, and my inability to help shape the lives of those closest to me (Eve and Chris' weight and lack of motivation). Dad vacillated between my looking like an unmade bed, a 1960's hippie, and a 65 year old woman in a sack dress. That's encouraging - don't ya think?
I agree that I could make changes to my appearance that make me look younger, more professional, less quirky, but what do those changes mean. Nothing, really. I like my crazy wild hair and it has taken a very long time for me to learn how to care for it properly. It's frizzy, huge, and getting grayer as I write. A short hairstyle doesn't make me feel pretty, and a medium hair cut is way too much work. Long is easy. I get out of the shower, pull out the tangles, add some mousse and I am ready to go. If I need to look more professional, a nice updo is all that's necessary.
As for my clothing, well...I have what I can afford to have. I own many beautiful pieces, but a lot of my clothes are comfortable and what I need for sitting at my desk researching and writing papers. Case in point...right now I am in my jammy bottoms and a t-shirt, but at lunch bunch on Saturday I was wearing a simple white, collared, shirt under a simple cable knit Ralph Lauren sweater. I had on Ralph Lauren jeans and white tennies. My hair was clean and down. My makeup was minimal, but it was there (I don't wear mascara because it really bothers my dry eye syndrome). I had my small Dooney and Bourke purse with me. Now, how is that an unmade bed? Everything was cleaned, pressed, and fit together nicely. I also had on a beautiful pair of earrings that Tricha bought for me a few Christmas' ago, and one, small, diamond and sapphire pinky ring. Hmmmmm....Not sure what I could have done differently other than to have dressed to the nines and looked ready for a meeting instead of a family gathering at a local restaurant.
I hate how this makes me feel. Oh, intellectually, I realize that I am okay and I look appropriate in any setting, but geez....when you're Daddy thinks you look ugly or unkempt, it's hard to get past the feeling. I AM overweight. I don't try hard enough to get the weight off, either. I could exercise like a mad woman, cut out anything that isn't low calorie, and get to a gym everyday (but without the money for dues, I am stuck with my own work-out program). I could get more modern clothing (here again, without the funds to shop for new clothing, I am stuck trying to modernize the clothing I own). I could be more demanding of Eve and Chris, but why...they are comfortable with who they are, and THAT is what I love most about them.
All in all, I will make some changes to my appearance as I become more enmeshed in the professional world, but for right now...I do what I can with what I have. Thanks for letting me rant and rave.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Volcanos, and sharks, and storms - Oh My
Wow, what a weird world we're in right now. There's so much chaos that sometimes I wonder what is really going on. I halfheartedly joke about 12/21/2012, but there's a deep feeling of uncertainty in my soul. I am not scared, not 'the sky is falling', and definitely not doomsdaying - just noticing.
There are moments when I cannot stop myself from digging deep into my mind for weird tid-bits. It's kind of like a puzzle or a short book meant to clear my head for the next task at hand.
So, in the news is Egypt with its communications and internet block. On the ticker tape at the bottom of the screen is the blip about the Volcano in Japan. The story of the last twelve hours has been the coming of a storm of epic proportions, and finally, a thirty second piece on the swarm of sharks off the coast of Florida. Well, I start thinking...
Isn't the Gaza Strip just a hop skip and a jump from where all the rioting and protesting is happening in Egypt? Doesn't our Bible tell us that's the area where the Apocalypse will start? Why are so many volcanoes erupting, lately? Why has there been so much weird weather this year? What would make thousands of sharks make a mass move and where are they going?
Oh, I could spend hours doing research, re-reading the things I studied during my two years of Eschatology classes, surfing the web for explanations and scientific opinion, but really, that's not what I am in the mood for today. Actually, I am really wondering whether or not I should stock up on water, buy large quantities of beans and rice, fill all the gas cans, stock the medicine cabinet, and make sure there's enough dog food for a long winter. Nah...probably not...it's just change and there's nothing scary about change, right:-)?
See what everyone who loves me has to deal with. The never ending thought processes of weirdo. I like to think about the what-ifs and the maybe so's. I can entertain myself quite nicely...who needs the television. Hah...enough for now, it's time to go count the tiles in the bathroom, I am over the end times (for now).
There are moments when I cannot stop myself from digging deep into my mind for weird tid-bits. It's kind of like a puzzle or a short book meant to clear my head for the next task at hand.
So, in the news is Egypt with its communications and internet block. On the ticker tape at the bottom of the screen is the blip about the Volcano in Japan. The story of the last twelve hours has been the coming of a storm of epic proportions, and finally, a thirty second piece on the swarm of sharks off the coast of Florida. Well, I start thinking...
Isn't the Gaza Strip just a hop skip and a jump from where all the rioting and protesting is happening in Egypt? Doesn't our Bible tell us that's the area where the Apocalypse will start? Why are so many volcanoes erupting, lately? Why has there been so much weird weather this year? What would make thousands of sharks make a mass move and where are they going?
Oh, I could spend hours doing research, re-reading the things I studied during my two years of Eschatology classes, surfing the web for explanations and scientific opinion, but really, that's not what I am in the mood for today. Actually, I am really wondering whether or not I should stock up on water, buy large quantities of beans and rice, fill all the gas cans, stock the medicine cabinet, and make sure there's enough dog food for a long winter. Nah...probably not...it's just change and there's nothing scary about change, right:-)?
See what everyone who loves me has to deal with. The never ending thought processes of weirdo. I like to think about the what-ifs and the maybe so's. I can entertain myself quite nicely...who needs the television. Hah...enough for now, it's time to go count the tiles in the bathroom, I am over the end times (for now).
